AFFLICTION

52 ~ [Left With Heartache]

I watched the silent city turning chaotic sitting here for almost 2 hours. Somehow an emotional bond formed with this stranger city with time. Alone but not so alone.

December 24. It's Christmas Eve this evening. The first christmas eve I'll be spending all by my own. Always I had my family by my side or my friends but now there is no one.

I have never been so social in my life but it didn't hinder me in making friends but now it did. A part of me maintained distance with people here for a reason. The reason was him.

Cause I was unknowingly afraid. Afraid for whatever someone has to face because of me. Afraid if being close to someone and losing them in the end like I always did.

It ain't that hard, right? Living all by one's own?

...............

I just came back from hospital and swallowed down a glass of water. It's supposed to be a holiday but I still went there as I had some work that weren't really necessary to be done today but I did it anyway to keep myself busy throughout the day.

Now it's 5 pm and the city is sparking and inflaming with gorgeous decorations and fairy lights. So beautiful and dreamy. I walked down the streets while coming back, smiling at how joyous every children looked with eagerness for their christmas in their eyes.

I wasn't unhappy anymore. Seeing everyone like this made me lightheartened cause at least I could observe everything in peace and that's what real happiness is about. Seeing others happy.

Now that I was in home, all I thought about tonight is grab a book and some coffee and go down it until I felt dizzy.

Before that I decided to call my mom and talk to her. Ask her about everything she prepared, only to miss it all. Then call my dad and ask him what am I getting as Christmas gift this year and weep cause I miss him so freaking much.

I wish I could spent this day with them like I always did but it wasn't even possible now that it's late. They all were supposed to visit me before Christmas, my mom, my dad and my sister Elle and we were supposed to celebrate together. That's what mom promised but it was nowhere to be implemented now.

The doorbell rang making me wonder who could it be as there wasn't anyone supposed to come now. I made my way to the main door and opened it.

My eyes instantly widened with surprise. Happiness jolted in my veins and nerves.

"Mum! Dad!" I almost screamed and couldn't keep myself a second longer than falling into there arms.

"Leera! My love" my mom called out

"Oh my god! I can't believe you guys are here!" I murmured hugging them, my tears at edge and here I was trying my best not to let them out.

I hugged my dad so tight after leaving my mom as if I could fill the amount i missed him just by hugging the best man in my life.
"My princess" Dad muttered caressing my hair. "Can we go inside and you two daughter dad carry on this inside?" Mom let out a sarcastic laughter.

Then we all were inside. "Elle, I missed you little brat!" I hugged my little sister while she showed me her tongue and we all laughed. Elle is 15 but she acts like 5, that's sometimes annoying but I love her like that, little and cute.

"Did you guys really come to visit me or am I dreaming again?" I pinched myself to confirm and hissed feeling the pain.
"No we are here to see California" Elle said mocking me.

"Ofcourse. Why would we come here for you" Mom joined her.
"Dad, look they are making fun of me" I made a sad face and sat beside dad on the coach hugging him knowing no matter what dad will always take my side.