The Heir and the Undoing

Chapter 13

By the time luncheon comes around, my head is brimming with everything I've learnt. I feel like a cup, overflowing with knowledge, and I don't know how I will hold a coherent conversation without mentioning any of it to Owen as we eat.

Then he bounds out onto the same terrace I had breakfast with Ezra on, and my whole body relaxes. There is the same unbridled joy in his face I am used to seeing when he discovers an interesting new book.

I hope he can lead the conversation as I drift back into my mind.

"Lori, I was so happy when I got your note." He smiles, reaching to hold my hand across the table.

I try to focus on him. "Well, I have to spend time with each of the champions and I know how much you enjoy the lunch dipping platters, so I thought this would be perfect." I tease.

His eyes search mine, sensing my distraction, perhaps. "You know me so well."

I am relieved when he decides not to call me out on my lack of focus. "Well, we have been friends for years."

The smile that splits his face turns dreamy, as though remembering those years. "So we have. How are you feeling about tomorrow?"

I know he is referring to the evening ball I ordered. How do I feel? I know everyone is expecting me to make my decision there, and I thought I would be ready to. The closer we get, the less sure I feel, and the further I move away from choosing my betrothed.

"As well as I can be." I force a smile.

"You don't have to lie to me, Elora. I think we've known each other long enough that we owe each other that."

"I know, I'm sorry, there's so much going on. I don't even know how to explain it all."

"You don't have to explain anything. Just talk to me. Tell me what's on your mind." He suggests gently.

I sit for a moment, wondering where I would even begin. A coughing noise by the door pulls my attention and I glance at Alessia, who is looking resolutely in the other direction.

"I love you, Elora. You should talk to me. I want you to choose me." Owen's declaration has me spinning back to him, my eyes wide with shock.

"Owen?" I whisper.

"Why is that such a surprise? I've never tried to hide how I feel. Talk to me. Let me help you."

I search his expression, trying to understand whether he is what I need. Whether he is what the Undoing needs.

"Don't you trust me?" Owen asks, almost desperately now.

Did I trust him? I thought I did. But are love and trust even the same?

I don't think they are for us, not yet at least.

"Yes." I whisper, "But I don't know if I love you. Not the way I should love the man I am going to marry."

"Perhaps I can love enough for the both of us? You know I care for you, Elora. Your friendship would be enough. I just need you to choose me."

"It's not that simple!"

"Then why can't you make it that simple?"

"It's about more than just me. I need the right person to lead at my side, to create alliances, to help me." I try to explain without giving away too much. Something about his expressions tells me I've done a terrible job.

There's a sort of resignation in his eyes now. "You don't think that's me?"

"I didn't say that."

He closes his eyes. "You didn't need to."