Set in Ink

Chapter 13

I think my smile is brighter than the stars themselves and wider than the earth. Then I notice that Vander's smile has faded into a look of confusion and a little hurt. My smile must not have been that big. I also notice, that he is crying. The front of his shirt is soaked. He must have been in pain.

"I can't talk," I write on a sheet of paper resting on my table. "It hurts. I was told to rest my throat."

"You're alive," he says.

Vander still looks a little hurt and confused, but when he speaks his voice is pure joy and something else. Is that love? It can't be, he doesn't love me. He sent me away after we kissed.

"I am," I write.

"You're alive," he says again.

"I am," I write, again.

"You're alive," he says for the third time.

This boy needs to learn some new words, I think. I don't understand why he seems so happy, I didn't think he would care so much that yes, I'm alive.

"I am, and you're the reason why. Thank you so much for saving me," I write.

"That's not true," he whispers. "I didn't save you. I should be thanking you, or in a perfect world, I would be dead, and you wouldn't be hurt.""In a perfect world?" I write. "Why would you be dead in a perfect world? I'd rather be hurt than have a piece of glass through your heart. I would rather I never speak again than lose your life.

"He begins to cry again. The tears pushing the stain further and further down his shirt.

"Why were you crying before?" I write. "Were you in pain?"

I don't want to think that Vander could be in so much pain that he cried.

"I thought I lost you," he says with pain in his voice. "Twice," he says laughing a little, then choking on his tears.

"Why would it matter?" I write.

"Why would it matter?" he asks. "Why would it matter? It would matter because you're the sun. You're the only sun that shines in my world now. You're the stars. You're a beautiful sunset, the pink, and the orange, and every precious color in-between. You're the reason I have woken up for the past six days. You're the reason I can't sleep for so long at night. You're the reason that I will now sleep better than I ever have, because I know that you're alive. You're the only reason I will ever smile again. You're my world. I know that it sounds crazy. I know that I have only known you for a little while, but I feel like I have known you forever. As long as I can live, and as long as I can breathe, I will live and breathe for you. When I thought you were..." he chokes on the word.

He takes a deep breath, regains his strength, and then continues.

"When I thought you were dead, I thought that I had lost all of the light in my world. I thought I had lost my sunshine and my will to live, but I know you're alive now and that's all that matters. I know that I told you to leave the other night, and I shouldn't have. I have never been this in love, and I was scared. You can hate me if you want to, but I don't think that's humanly possible.

"He smirks through his tears, and I laugh through the pain. Now it is my turn to cry. He loves me, and I love him.

"I might take you up on that hating challenge just to prove you wrong," I say out loud this time, my voice is raspy, and it hurts, but I owe this to him. Then, it's as if he reads my mind.

He says, "You don't owe me anything. I owe you. You don't owe me your loyalty out of pity, and I owe you, to leave, if you want me to. I can disappear from your life just as quickly as I appeared."

"I wouldn't want that for the world," I say.

I reach out for his hand and he takes mine. We sit there silently crying and smiling. I feel sleep tugging at my eyelids. I welcome it, knowing that Vander won't mind. I fall asleep with my hand in his, and a smile on my face.