The Ecstasy Of Faking It

Chapter 46: In The End. Part 2.

I knew exactly what that meant because he already told me what it meant.

"It means I'll be surrounded by the best." I said the words he told me.

"Exactly, and what do you do with that?" He asked pointing at me with his bottle, like he wanted me to recall his words.

"I take advantage of my time on screen and get my break." I recalled his words.

"Good. I want you to be fully booked before that movie even leaves theatres." He told me, determined.

I loved his determination.

"Wow, I can't believe this is happening." Drew wrapped his arm around me and ruffled my hair. I shoved him.

"Believe it, I'm gonna go but I'll be back later so we can celebrate." James got up with his beer and started walking out of the room.

"Hey James?" I called, he turned around.

"Consider yourself hired." I said, he smiled and turned back around.

I turned to Drew, he was giving me a curious stare.

"What?" I rolled my eyes at him.

"Are you gonna call her?" He asked.

By her, he meant Emily. Drew and I had been friends for five years, we knew everything there was to know about each other, I think I used to talk about Emily a lot whenever he forced me to go out and have drinks with him.

I told him about the no phone calls thing and he had been pushing me to call her ever since. I said that I'd only call Emily once I landed a role because she was the first person to believe in me, but that was to shut him up, he insisted I called her just to say hello but she and I had a deal, no phone calls unless it's a life and death situation.

I realized that was a dumb deal about a month after I left, I felt like I was going crazy without her, I felt like an idiot not picking up the phone and just calling her in order to hear her voice, to hear her call my name one more time.

I would have liked to say I was in a better place five years later but I wasn't, I felt like I was going crazy the first time I slept with someone else, picturing her in the arms of another caused me to take strong drinks, and I'd stare at the summer pictures in my phone whilest drunk.

I missed her every day and to top it off, I hadn't exactly been in a serious relationship after her. Every time I got attracted to someone, I fucked it up.

"I lost her number." I lied, I did delete her number cause I didn't want to be tempted to call her but I bumped into Jessica a few years back, she gave me Emily's number without me even asking for it. I took it but I only stared at it every night.

"I know you still have it, just call her and tell her you got the role." He said in a pushy tone.

Everything inside me was telling me to do it, to swallow up my pride and just do it and maybe, just maybe. She waited for me.

"I don't think I'm ready, man." I said honestly.

"Adrian, you'll never be ready. Just take a leap of faith." He said.

A leap of faith, that's all I needed to hear.

"Okay," I nodded, "I'm gonna go call her." I stood and walked to my room, I shut the door, leaned my back against it and eyed my phone on the night stand.

I ambled towards it but ended up turning back around, I turned yet again and looked at it.

I told myself to man up before I walked to my bed and sat down, picking it up.