Grief

Scream

The walk back had been silent. All for the sound of my footsteps as we made our way back to my apartment. The two girls had gone home soon after realizing the sun had set, I still don't understand how the two could manage to smile back at me as they said goodbye.

When the twins had latched onto my arms, I could feel Izaya's glare bear into me. I could feel his looming eyes flicker, alit with an expression I couldn't force myself to face. I couldn't even touch the two, with some sort of comfortable pat as they sniffled, all because the irony drenched bitter on my tongue.

I had no right to be there, to be treated like that. They had forgiven me so easily- trusted me enough to actually hug me. They trusted me enough that they latched onto the very arms that had caused their brother's death!

My keys jostled, clicking into place as I opened my apartment door. The familiar creak of wood was a welcome distraction from the blearing silence the trip back had become. I took a moment to blink around the place, the apartment looking the same as always as I watched Izaya walk past me.

At least I had managed to prove my point.

It was a relief to see that in the end, I had been right, I had managed to show that some people actually cared for Izaya's passing. When Izaya had been so flippant about his death, I felt this strange anger crawl up my throat and curl in my fingers the longer I dwelled on it. I couldn't help defending the people who mourned him after he had dismissed them so easily...

But there was also something else there. The twitching need to prove my point with a blind bubbling yearning when I saw that Izaya full-heartedly didn't believe anybody missed him.

It had pissed me off so much-

And when Mairu acted like she didn't care. Fuck-

I took a deep breath and glanced towards Izaya, who was already sitting on the couch with his back rigidly facing me.

I'd been mortified at that moment, thinking that the proof I was so keen to believe in would only prove Izaya right. The idea that his own sisters didn't even miss him...

My shoulders slouched, a small sense of release rushing over me as my muscles un-tensed. I had been right in the end, and was even able to clear up a bit between me and the twins...Even if I didn't deserve it in the slightest.

"See?" I murmured, "People do care, Izaya."

There was a quiet click when I shut the door behind me.

Izaya's head barely tilted to the side, a sidelong glare from a single eye pointing towards me. His eyes squinted for a second, almost as if in suspicion as his visible blood-tinted eye kept locked on me.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Izaya sneered.

My head craned back as I frowned back at him, "Huh?" His iris flickered as he moved his body to completely face me, who was still standing near the entry door.

"What do you mean 'huh?' Shizu-chan, I know you're an idiot but this is beyond ridiculous." The flea's brows furrowed with obvious annoyance-

I frowned the same.

"What-? You mean dragging your ass to show you your sisters?" My jaw was stretched tight, words passing through clenched teeth. What the hell was he trying to get at? Sure I could understand why he's annoyed- sort of -but damn shouldn't he be at least a little happy to know that people actually cared?

"Not just my sisters- All of this! Do you think you'll get some stupid gold star for acting pathetic?" Izaya rose to his feet. "That if you act like some god-forsaken soul after what you did all would be fine? Sure! Let's pretend you are some perfect 'human' who hasn't promised to kill their enemy for years and as soon as you accomplished it- you shrivel up and drowned in your own self-pity to make yourself feel sane!?"