sober | j.jk

16 ‣ uninspired

The first few steps out of Yugyeom's door feel strangely slow. You were by no means walking leisurely, but the ambiance just seemed to have the consistency of gelatin. Nothing registered in your mind other than the irritatingly calm turbulence clouding every mental command except for 'move.' On the heavier hand, you were embarrassed. Confused. Annoyed. Disappointed. But on the lighter one, somewhere deep in your soul, you were also relieved. Some part of you was at ease.

It was that small, faint voice in the very very back of your head desperately fighting for a sliver of your attention that now celebrates in the vast shadow that is your solemn disappointment. A voice you know well, but refuse to pin. Pinning it would mean acknowledging something that shouldn't be. It would make no sense to. It'd be stupid. You'd rather ignore it and keep ignoring until it dies off. It can't be long now, anyway. It's been around for more than enough time.

"Nine!"

There it is.

"You gotta be fucking kidding me." You mumble, snapping back into Father Time's regular physical pace and even speeding it up a little. You don't bother turning around. Out of all the times you can't deal with him, this particular frame lands on the highest peak. He calls you by name now. How bold of him. How did he even know you were here? It's about to be four in the morning.. Why is he even awake? Did he track you down? The notion that he might've planted some device on you no longer feels like a bad joke.

As much as you wish the universe would throw you a bone, apparently it only has boulders in stock at the moment. Jungkook is never one to be ignored. Now is no exception. "Where are you going?" He stops right in front of you, blocking your sidestep getaway with a sidestep of his own. "Hey, talk to me." Jungkook's head tilts down as if he was your high school softball coach and you'd just thrown the worst pitch of the season. "What are you doing here?" He questions further. You've never felt more trapped in your life.

"Don't I have more grounds to be asking that question?" You glare at him, trying hard not to let all the emotions you're working so hard to suppress explode all over him. You assume he's an innocent-ish bystander, but in reality, this is all his fault. Or at least, it all circles back to him. How would you know, though? "Don't tell me you go around visiting your friends so early in the morning?" You fail at neutralizing the bitterness left on your tongue.

"I'm not visiting anybody."

"Then—?"

"You.." Jungkook's voice softens, fading off into nothing. His eyes trail down from your reddening eyes to your slightly puffy lips, noticing the remnants of smudged lip gloss around them.

"What?"

"You kissed him?" Jungkook asks. If you knew any better (which you don't) you'd say he almost sounds hurt. He stands before you with false courage coursing through his veins—because God knows if he hadn't worked it up beforehand he'd never be confronting you like this. He probably wouldn't even be talking to you, eagerly waiting for you to make your own way back to him and let him know he indeed had not lost connection with one of his favorite people on campus.

Who the fuck asks—? "That's none of your business."

"Maybe not." Jungkook swallows the shattered pieces of his pride threatening to tear his throat to shreds. He parts his lips to speak again, but you cut him off.

"Why are you here?"

"Because you are." He answers.

"And how the fuck would you even know that?" The irritation seeps through your words much more clearly now. What you held back so eloquently with Yugyeom doesn't to do so well in its cage now. Jungkook feels the acidic emotion soaking through him, too. Exhaustion aside, you have nothing left in you to hold complete composure anymore. All you want is a blanket. Some peace and quiet. Some time to lick your wounds, for lack of a less dramatic phrase.