𝙎𝙋𝘼𝙍𝙆𝙎; 𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙠 𝙨𝙡𝙤𝙖𝙣

𝘛𝘦𝘯: 𝘔𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘢𝘭

But Iris was not the one to give up. The three year old was overexcited that her little brother was having his first birthday. And she wanted her big sister to be equally excited. But the memories Amber had wouldn't let her. Not enough time had passed for her to celebrate birthdays on the same day as death anniversaries. Even if it was her own brother's.

"Amby!" 

"What?" Amber yelled as she sat up and Iris looked at her with wide eyes as Amber had never yelled to her before. "Sorry, sorry sweetie." Amber immediately apologised and lifted Iris up in bed. "What is it?"

"Daddy needs help. He said to wake you up before I end up eating the cake. But it's so yummy."

"Mark is making cake?" Amber wondered surprised. "Okay, um, let's just go downstairs." She decided. Lying around was going to help anyone. Especially Mark who she had made a promise to shut him out that day. 

"Can I get some cake?" Iris wondered.

"Maybe later."

❀

The time for the small get together had arrived. It wasn't an actual party. The loss was still pretty fresh for everyone. So only Mark's closest friends from the hospital were there. And it was an opportunity for Iris to see her best friends, Zola and Sofia. 

The reason everyone had gathered at their house was actually asleep. Little Sam fell asleep of his cake, not really bothering to stay awake to celebrate his big day. So the adults were in the living room sharing a bottle of wine as their kids were there playing whatever their imagination created. 

Amber was sitting there quietly, having a glass of wine. She had became more familiar with alcohol since the first time she drunk. She sure knew better when to stop. Most of the times. Everyone else was talking. And their topic was something that made Amber feel a little bit worse. 

"Well, that's the second time we aren't going to eat cake. Well, the first time was more dramatic." Callie commented making everyone else laugh. 

"Aw, yeah Iris got the opportunity to, eat the cake and be the cake all at the same time." Derek added, remembering Iris' first birthday party. And all Amber could hear was how Natalie was supposed to be on this party too.

"Natalie was yelling at me for picking up the wrong one." Mark remembered. A bittersweet feeling crept up inside of him. And then someone did mentioned her mom's name. And Amber stood up quickly before they ended up remembering more. She couldn't hear their stories. "Hey, where are you going?" Mark asked her. 

"To take a walk."

❀

"I thought I'd might find you here." Mark said as he spotted Amber.

Amber was standing quietly over her mother's gravestone. She had spent the last thirty minutes there. It felt the only right place to be in that moment. Visiting her mother, telling her how much she missed her. But then again she hadn't let out a word since she arrived. 

Mark gave her a little time before he followed her to the only place he knew she would be.

"Here I am. Where else would I be?" Amber spoke without glancing over at him. 

"Sorry if it got a little too much in there." He apologised as he stood next to her. He kept his eyes on his wife's name. He was in pain. His heart was in pain. His body. His mind. All the memories were too much. He had spent the whole day trying to be a happy father. But in his mind he was a heartbroken husband and he missed Natalie. He felt incomplete like a piece of him was missing. She had taken it with her the day she passed away, Mark was sure.