Dangerously Her

The letter

Present

Victoria

I put some warmer cloth on since my skin was freezing from the bath. I past out, well more like black out.
It had me thinking, deep thoughts. What if he knew and didn't want to see me.

It's been a while since I've drink to the point of blacking out.
Things where just so good that the past became to become a blur, just faded memories.

I was happy, happy again. Being able to breathe a breath that I was holding one to so long.
I wanted to end it, many drunk times but I have to see his head rolling in the floor before I die.

I couldn't sleep the, no matter how hard I try. Different position, no pants , pants on, I even tried meditating. But I sigh and decided to close my eyes and just let it happen.
It was a while until I heard the door open but I wasn't alert because I knew who it was.

His scent lingers everywhere in the room at the air cane in the room. I couldn't talk to him now , I was still to angry.
I felt the bed sent down as long hands snake up my waist.

I went to remove them but he said, "not now terso, just one night please." I turn around and cuddled on to him.

This might be the last night I'll have him like this. He was my safe place, even if we knew each other for a short time. He made me want to be better, he gave me reason to want to live.

"I..I love you"

"I love you too"

Luca

She was beautiful in every way. I hated that I just left like that, but knowing her I knew she would leave me.
I sighed, I told her we would talk in the morning but now how could I face her.

I went to the bathroom to find a bath tube filled with in empty bottle of tequila.
"Shit" I did this to her.

Made her feel like this.

I took a quick shower, trying as fast as I could not to wake her.
But I was out of luck when she was sitting on the bed hands cross legs cross with the most adorable face.

"Well well, look whose trying to sneak off again" she said.
"It's been days no weeks even and what nothing. Avoiding me as if I was a plaque." She cried.

Shit she's crying, I never saw her cried before.
"Well, say something"

"V, I'm sorry. I was avoiding you but that's because I thought you'll leave me" I hugged her.

We hugged each other for a while, not letting go. Her honey scent filled my nose and I couldn't get enough of it, I wanted it all over me.

"I have something to tell you" we both said.
"Uh, you first" we said again.

We stood there awkwardly, not knowing what to say.
"I have an idea, how but we write what we want to say than gave it to each other."

"Ok" I said. She got some paper abs pen and pass it to me and went off writing. I wonder what she has to say. But I bet mines worst.

I wrote everything, everything I've been hidings. I hope she understands I can't just make it go away, he here already. What more can I do.

"Ready"
"Ready"

We gave each other our paper and it felt really dumb. As if this was high school but in a way it made it easier I guess.

Well I don't know where to start really but I've made some choices that held up to how my life is right now. I regret some and others I don't. The Reality is we can never go back in time to change our actions but just move forward in life.
It all started 6 years ago when I was kidnapped by the Russian mafia, Dmitri. I was forced repeatedly but I learn to play a game. A game in which you start believing a plan you made to be true. Uhhhh... ok cut to the chase, I got pregnant but I never knew that when I tried to escape. I got couldn't and well and...
Which made me infertile so the doctor said. I wanted to tell you believe I do but the words could never get out, to be honest how can you even say all this in person.

"You have a kid?"