Secret Love {1} | Justin Bieber

twenty-nine.

Cassie

I was still out, walking around. I didn't know how long I had been out already. An hour? Or maybe two? I had no idea. I was walking down the streets, sometimes turning left or right with no destination. I ignored the people I was passing and the weird or sorry looks I was getting, I guess it was not an everyday thing to see a girl messed up like me, with no idea where to go. I probably looked like a mess from all the crying but I couldn't care less.

Did I really deserve all this? Did I deserve to be treated like that by my on flesh and blood? I admit I made a mistake, it was not right lying to him but why would he turn against me like that? I was confused, I was frustrated, I was sad but also angry. Things were not supposed to be like this. I didn't know how things were supposed to be but most definitely not like this. Family is supposed to be for each other and not against each other like Daniel and I. I didn't want this fight but apparently Daniel wanted it since he was acting like the biggest dick ever. Of course I could try to talk to him again and figure things out but somehow I already knew how it would end.

I was not planning to be home just yet. I didn't want to get yelled at or whatever, I had no nerve to listen to what he had to say to me. I knew that it would be shit I didn't want to hear anyway. I had an idea where I could go so I made my way there. It was not far away from where I was now and after a few more minutes of walking I finally arrived at my destination: the cemetery.

I headed to where the thombstone of my parents was. I really felt the need to be with them right now. I sat down on the ground in front of the thombstone and then I stared at it for a while.

"Hey mom, hey dad. I know that you guys are not here, but I know that you always look over me. I really need to talk to you and get this out. Oh, I didn't bring flowers today but I promise next time when I come I'll bring some," I said and chuckled. "Since you guys have been watching me, I bet you guys know what is currently going on between Daniel and I. I have no idea how long I can take this anymore, seriously. He is treating me like this little 5 year old kid and making all the decision for me all of the sudden. I am old enough to take care of myself and to do whatever I want to do and to decide for myself, but he doesn't get it."

I sighed and wiped the tears from my cheeks, "remember when he said he would do anything to keep me happy? What happend to that promise? Where did we go wrong? I know that I haven't been honest with him about my relationship from the very beginning but I was scared that I would screw up. And now everything is screwed up and that it all only my fault. It really is."

"The other day I was thinking about how everything would be if I had stayed away from Justin just like Daniel wanted. We wouldn't be in this state probably and everything would be just nice and peaceful and all these fights would never had happend. But then again if I had stayed away I wouldn't be able to be with the best boy on this world. I mean you knew Justin when he was young and you guys liked him a lot. He was a great person, he still is and he makes me the happiest girl ever. Justin does so much for me just to keep a smile on my face, unlike Daniel who should actually do the same."

"I wish you were here right now, like, really here, physically. I wish you could hug me and wipe the tears out of my face and tell me that everything will be alright and all this will be over soon because I hate it. I hate how Daniel is and what he is doing to me. All I want is to be happy. Is that so much to ask for? What am I doing wrong? Is being in love a wrong thing because it doesn't feel wrong when I'm with Justin. I just really don't know what to do anymore. I feel so helpless and so clueless," I sobbed, letting my head fall down and closing my eyes to prevent more tears from falling.

When I calmed down a bit I changed the subject and talked about how I was in a happy relationship with Justin and that school was being great and that I was glad that I would be over with next month. I was trying to have at least some happy thoughts. While I was caught up in talking I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket. I took it to see that Emilia was calling me. I didn't answer it though, I would just call back. I took a glance at the time and it was 5:30 PM already and that meant that I had been gone for quite a while.