"Can I kiss you?"
If only it had turned out to be as you dreamed of it to be. They were all left in your fantasies of those days, but not these.
Cover by @xerphthalmia
Your husband shook his head in response, his gaze falling onto the three year old who was reaching her hand out to him with food in her mouth. He cracked a smile, picking her up into his hold while holding his plate in the other hand.
Without a word, he turned his back to you, walking away with your only other companion, leaving you all alone in the emptiness of the living room.
Your eyes drifted from him to the empty plate in front of you before taking a seat in your chair, raising your legs to hug your knees. Your chest constricted, your home suddenly empty and quiet, like it was never home at all. Had it ever been? Or had you come to forget that feeling?
The first tear began to form, eventually rolling down your cheek that had grown thinner over time. You felt weak, incapable of bearing the crack that was slowly forming in your heart, growing deeper and reaching closer to the core each and every day.
When had everything changed? When did the unhappiness and loneliness begin to set into your once joyful home? You didn't know.
It wasn't the first time that he had left you alone, and you knew it was nowhere near being the last no matter how much you wished it would be.
°•°•°•°
You had just tucked Minji in for the night, lulling her to sleep by reading a story out of her favourite storybook. Of course she didn't go without asking for her father, wondering when he would read her a story while you would sit and watch. You told her once again that he was busy, and promised that he would read her a story sometime soon, but who knew when that would be.
You were fully aware of her attachment to him, and as much as you found it adorable, you grew jealous at times. She always asked for him, always left with him. Did she ever ask him about you?
You'd let the thought slide, reminding yourself that she was still young. She was just a daddy's girl. You'd grow a stronger bond while she grew up.
You entered your bedroom, the sound of rushing water reaching your ears, indicating that Jungkook was in the shower. You changed into your pyjamas, placing your previous clothes in the laundry bin in the corner of your room before heading towards the bathroom to do your nightly skincare routine.
The moment your hand wrapped around the handle, your movements stilled at the sound of panting coming from the other side.
"Shit" his voice sounded, slightly muffled, a moan following right after.
Was he...?
You swallowed the lump in your throat that had formed, retracting your hand from the door handle and taking slow steps back before fully turning towards the direction of your bed.
You climbed under the sheets, squeezing your eyes shut in order to prevent the threatening tears from falling.
He wasn't doing anything wrong, just pleasuring himself. Pleasuring himself after not laying a single finger on you for nearly a year.
Were you wrong to be hurt? To let a simple action shatter your already scared heart?
You bit your bottom lip, trying to stop yourself from crying.
Were you not attractive to him anymore? Did he hate your stretch marks from pregnancy that much? Was that why he was so distant now? Because you just weren't beautiful enough for him anymore?
You wiped the few tears that had managed to escape as soon as you heard the bathroom door open. You listened to him walk to the closet, grabbing clothes before heading towards the bed. You felt the bed dip from your side, the comforter shifting in your hold as he laid down. The entire room fell silent, just like it did every night.
Not a single kiss. Not a single hug or good night. Nothing. Nothing, unlike how it used to be.
Not like the times where he would drag you in bed, pulling you into his arms until there wasn't even a sliver of space left between your bodies. Where he would either lay his head over your chest or spoon you till the sun greeted you both in the morning. Not like the times where he'd drown you in kisses, muttering how he just couldn't get enough. Maybe he really had enough, to the point where even the simplest of touches, became scarce. He didn't want any of you anymore.
Did he even love you anymore?
The thought had you pursing your lips, it not being the first time that you had considered it.
Nothing was like those days anymore, the days where you were both eighteen and crazy in love.
At least you were.
The days where saying "I love you" would be repeated through either smiles or tears every single day.
Your chest grew tighter as your eyes only watered, your grasp on the comforter growing tighter.
You missed those days. The days where you knew you were loved. The days where you could at least be a bit carefree. The days where you had him to turn to and tell everything.
You missed him, even though you lived under the same roof, even though you shared the same bed.
"Jungkook." Your voice sounded more like a croak from trying to hold all those feelings in.
"Yeah?" you heard him say from his side of the bed tiredly, his back turned to you just like yours was to him.
"Remember those days?" you asked softly, trying to keep your tears in, but it felt impossible.
"I'm too tired for this, go to sleep." he answered.
He clearly didn't remember, at least not like you did. But would he ever?
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