Are you okay?

19:24PM

I couldn't fault Theo's concerns, because as much as I longed to side with Romeo, I understood that watching someone you loved deliberately put themselves in harm's way must have been terrifying. I wouldn't have let Romeo risk his health if I had known the situation, and although it wasn't the exact same thing, I could empathise with Theo on the grounds that it was unfair of Romeo to be selfless when, arguably more than ever, he needed to be selfish. 

My perception was still clouded, but in a way, I couldn't help but feel as though I was the cause of their disagreement: Romeo had spent the night with me instead of returning to the hospital, and I couldn't ignore the burgeoning guilt blooming within me as Theo continued speaking. Of course I could see he was sick, but I would never have thought it was as serious as this; that Romeo had prioritised aiding me over preventing the deterioration of his health.

"Everyone is saying he'll be fine, and even I'm convinced that the drug trial should work, but I don't know how to feel about the fact that everything is changing," Theo admitted, resting his head against the back of the chair as his eyes fluttered shut. "I don't know how to feel about any of this..."

"That's okay, Theo," I spoke softly, turning to face him. With his eyes closed his face beheld stories of hurt, miseries written into the lines under his eyes and anguish etched into his pained expression, still seeming on edge despite reaching an apparent resolution. "There is a lot happening, and you don't have to have it all figured out now."

"But I feel like I do," Theo laughed humourlessly, flickering his eyes open as his honey gaze held swirls of silent agony, accompanied by brimming tears which he blinked back as they were eager to fall. I couldn't help but notice the slight redness to his eyes, as though his argument with Romeo had already led him to tears prior to coming to see me. "For my parents, especially, I have to have it all figured out."

I sat up in the bed, moving nearer towards him so my legs hung over the edge, leaving a smaller distance between us. "How do you mean?"

"When Romeo first got sick, my dad was always the one to take him to treatments or appointments, and stay with him whenever something happened," Theo began, his voice quiet. "Because of that, I grew up pretty much solely with my mum, only catching glimpses of my dad and brother before they were rushing off to hospitals again. As Will got worse, the only times when we were all together as a family were when we went to visit him in hospital."

It still felt odd having Theo share so much with me about his own personal life, a sentiment I was become more used to as the day went on. I appreciated that we had come to a level where he could confide in me, and vice versa, instead of avoiding the more dire topics that we never really spoke about until we had to.

"When we first found out about the drug trial, one of the conditions was allowing Will to live at the hospital, since he would need monitoring almost constantly in case of any serious side effects," Theo explained, clearing up my previous assumption that Will lived in the hospital by choice of their parents. "I thought that would mean we would all spend more time together, but instead my parents busied themselves with work and became so preoccupied with their upcoming business to distract themselves."

I vaguely recalled Theo mentioning his parents' plans to open a café so they could leave their regular office jobs and start up a family business, but I didn't realise it took up so much of their time. But then again, like my own mum, all Theo's parents seemed to do was work, and on the odd occasion Theo would speak about Will, their parents' lack of availability was usually the main reason why they rarely visited Will at the hospital.

"Will used to be the one to hold everyone together, since we would all meet to visit him often, but now my parents can't bear to be constantly reminded of his illness and it's like-" Theo paused, his voice breaking as he inhaled sharply, shaking his head to himself, "-it's like now he's pulling us apart."