The Girl Behind The Door

Part 17 - Waiting For Her Prince

"Wait does Shashwati know about...I mean does she like umm do ..." I had the sudden thought of the kid actually sleeping with men and I felt my fist clench in anger and my heart drop as I struggled to complete my sentence not being able to even say such things about her let alone fathom how men would want to sleep with a child their daughters or granddaughters age.

Mayuri looked at me and understood what I was trying to say. Her expressions softened slightly as she shook her head indicating a no as she moved away from the cupboard and made her way to the open window that looked out onto the street.

(vah jaanti hai ki purush hamare saath sone ke lie aate hain aur bas, vah nahin jaanatee ki ve hamaare saath kya karate hain)

" She knows that the men come here to sleep with us and that's it, she doesn't know what they do to us... It was easier to explain things to her when she was younger but know she growing, she's starting to ask us why we dressed so strangely and why she isn't allowed to dress like that, we told her that it's because the men like it and since she doesn't sleep with men she doesn't need to dress like that... But how much longer can we hide the truth from her..."

(vah yahaan kee sabhee ladakiyon ke lie betee kee tarah hain. jis din se vah paida hui thee, usee din se humne usaka paalan-poshan kiya, hamane use vah sab kuchh sikhaaya jo ham jaanate the, aur hamane use in chaar deevaaron ke bheetar sabase saamaany jeevan dene kee koshish kee... usaka bachapan hamen apanee aur hamaare pahale ke jeevan kee yaad dilaata hai, usakee paayal kee aavaaj aur usakee sureelee aavaaj hamen deedee bulaatee hai aur har subah hamen jagaana maanavata mein hamaare vishvaas ko bahaal karata hai jab yah ek raat pahale nasht ho gaya tha ...)

" She is like a daughter for all of the girls here. We raised her since the day she was born, we taught her whatever we knew, and we tried to give her the most normal life confined within these four walls. You know she is the life of this place, and one of the only sources of pure happiness. She has never had a life outside this building and so for her this is her whole world and if you think about it I think it best she thinks that... At least in her naivety she can enjoy her life. For us she is the little lamp that radiates the smallest ray of light into this hell of a place, she is the person that keeps us all rooted and in a way sane... Her childishness reminds us of ourselves and our lives before, the sound of her anklets and her melodious voice calling us didi and waking us up every morning restores our faith in humanity after it was destroyed the night before... The way she knows each and everyone of us and how to get on our nerves in the best way possible but also how to wipe our tears and soothe our pain...  She keeps us rooted, when we slowly slip away and start forgetting ourselves she always brings us back, she is the single drop of innocence in this palace of sin."

(aur yahee mujhe daraata hai)

" and that's what scares me" her voice suddenly turned dark as she looked at me

(kya matalab hai aapko daraata hai, aur kya yahan aur bhi bachche hain)

"What do you mean scares you, and are there more kids here too" I ask her

(...mere yahan aane se pehle hamare kuch bache paida hue the, lekin ve sabhee ladake the aur unhen raimo ne le jaaya gaya tha, ham nahi jante ki unake saath kya hua..)

She looks down and shakes her head " Shaswati is the only child born here. We have had a few kids born before I came here but they were all boys and they were taken away by Rammo, we don't know what happened to them, probably sent to an orphanage if lucky, or most likely killed, or sold for their organs... We haven't had any pregnancies after Shaswati because of Rasiya di's protest for making condoms compulsory but most likely because Rammo doesn't want to spend on an infant's expenses... Rammo only decided to keep shaswati alive because she was a girl."