The Girl Behind The Door

Part 12 - Hidden Grief

Bhavik's POV

(Whose movement is this)

yeh kiski hai aahat

I walk towards the crowd and I see she has already started dancing. The sweet sounds of the ghungroos broke the silence of the room as she tapped her foot slowly bringing it around and positioning it so that they were both on the floor towards her side.

(Whose shadow is this)

Yeh kiska hai saaya

I remembered how she loved dancing and I'm sure she was good at it too. I shoveled my way through the thick crowd of men who were desperately trying to get a glimpse of her face. After a lot of effort I was finally able to find a space behind a round man who I had assumed was the minister, who was sitting on an old anglo Indian sofa. I was now able to see her dance for the first time properly and remembering how she talked about it I have to say I was pretty excited. She slowly lifted the dupatta and revealed her face, which was met with a chorus of gasps, wolf whistles, and catcalls from the crowd. I could feel the anger rise in me again but I too, was stunned to silence seeing her. She was adorned with a large jhoomar tikka and a matching jewelry set. The deep red shade covering her lips contrasted her fairly simple makeup and accentuated her beauty.

(There was a knock on my heart)

Huyi dil mein dastak

She brought her hands up from her knees and twirled them in the air above her head and slowly brought them down and left them hovering over her heart as she rose from the ground in a simple turn.

(Who has come here)

Yahan kaun aaya

She finally lifted her head which looked at the floor the whole time and she gave the whole room a sweeping look. Her eyes brushed past the many faces in the room as it finally rested on the minister seated in front of me. She bent her head again, looked and raised her hands giving him a slight smile as she welcomed him with a salam. Her large kohl lined eyes looked up to make eye contact with her customer however her expression changed to one of shock when she saw the person standing behind him. Me. Seeing her gaze fall on my I gave a slight smile which quickly turned into frown seeing her change in expression. Her eyes were now red and glossy as they filled with tears, it seemed to carry a sense of happiness but also a large amount of anger, and sorrow. I didn't know why but the ambiguity of her expression struck me deeply, as I felt an unknown feeling of guilt and sadness grow in me.

(Who has thrown on me)

Hum pe yeh kisne

(This green colour)

Hara rang dala

(My happiness has killed me)

Khushi ne hamari hum mein maar dala

She started twirling and moving her feet to the beat of the songs as it picked up in pace. Her hands fluttered in the air like butterflies forming a variety of shapes that lingered only for a second before it twisted into another configuration. I stood mesmerized by her as she moved around the room disturbing the rising smoke and causing it to erupt into a swirl of dance that slowly faded as she moved away.

(Nor did I complain to God for anything)

Na rab se bhi koi shikayat ki

(I hid every sorrow)

Har gham ko humne chupaya

(I faced all the problems smilingly)

Har sitam ko haske uthaya

The twirled around the room her skirt flaring out around her as she moved her hand over her head twirling it around before extending it out to her sides. A loud round of cheers and hoots erupted in the air and the gaze of the men fell onto her legs which were now displayed by her flaring skirt. I too looked down and I felt a pang in my heart as I saw the large scar that ran along her calf. I looked up and our eyes met mid turn. The tears were now threatening to fall from her eyes as they looked at me desolately, her deep red lips held a melancholic smile that seemed to mock the growing guilt in me. Although we haven't talked I could see the pain she was in, I knew that she trusted me to return and I had broken her trust. The song, although not intended, became an ironic, indirect accusation towards me. She was expressing her grief and hurt through her dance,  and the sweet chiming of her anklets now seemed to be a lamentation of her hidden emotions.

(yes, but when I prayed)

haan magar dua mein

(With my hands raised)

Jab yeh haath uthaya

(Then I asked for you as my blessings)

Khuda se dua mein tumhe maang dala

With a single twirl she sat on the floor, her skirt slowly falling in a circle around her. She moved her hands subconsciously but her eyes were fixed on me and I fell into a pool of guilt seeing her desperately try to hold her tears back but failing as a tear rolled down her cheek. I looked down, not being able to see her eyes any longer.

As the sargam played the beat picked up and she spun around the room in continuous circles, the emotions rising from within her, the sound of her anklets, the beats of the drums, the voice of the singer, the noise from the crowd, all blended together creating a heated chaos of noise which plunged into a silence as with a slight thud she fell to the floor holding her final pose. The room was silent for a second in which only the dying sound of her ghungroo and her ragged breaths was heard. She looked at me once again through her thick lashes, that were now wet with tears, with so much intensity that I felt like I was being burned from the inside.

And then an eruption of loud cheers and whistles filled the room , as the men shouted their compliments at her, some throwing wards of cash towards her, while others gave her kisses through the air.

"5000 for the night" one man shouted as she got up and left the room, silently wiping her tears, the sounds of her anklets now drowned out by the noise of the men bidding for her.

"8000"

(... usse muje do)

"I'll give 10000 rammo, give her to me" shouted another as the large man from earlier walked towards the room

"Guys, guys relax. She already has a booking for now. Let her attend that first and then you can all have your turn." I turn around and push my way past the crowd of greedy men as I walk up the stairs towards her room.

( jaldi kyu hai, raat abhi baaki hai)

"What's the hurry, the night is still young" I heard Rammo continuing, to calm the crowd while collecting the fallen notes as a second group of dancers came onto the dance floor.

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