[Jack Thompson] (The things they don't know about) Miss Tonya

[ 2 2 : c h a n g e - o f - p l a n ]

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Warnings: None (let me know if I missed anything worth mentioning) 

Spoilers: Agent Carter Season 1

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Howard seemed to be making a habit out of changing their arrangement last minute to remove Tonya from the plans. "For your own safety" he'd reasoned on the message he'd sent through the telex in their code. She didn't doubt that he had her best interests at heart (he always did – Jarvis had once said that he believed the only person Howard ever thought of before himself was her), but she would have much preferred he had alerted her of this change of plans before she had got up and ready to collect him at four in the morning.

She'd considered pretending she hadn't seen the message, but she always found it difficult to lie to Howard: he knew her far too well. Jarvis also knew she had been checking the telex for messages at least twice every day, so it wouldn't be easy to lie to him either. She was anxious to ensure she didn't land him in any deeper trouble than he was already in and so she felt she had no choice but to trust his judgement – ironically, that was exactly what had got them into this mess in the first place.

So, when Peggy and Jarvis set off to fulfil the plan and collect her brother, Tonya had to watch them drive away into the dim light of early morning from the window. She was struggling to shoulder the guilt that seemed to grow heavier every day; it had increased tenfold last night when she had admitted out loud for the first time, over the phone to Peggy, that she was equally to blame as Howard and yet he seemed to be suffering all the losses.

As she stood watching from the window, she was reminded of the night she'd watched Howard leave from the dock; like then, she hadn't meant to be watching. She should have been helping, doing as much as she could to make up for what she'd let her brother take the fall for. Instead, she was left again, helplessly allowing the burden to fall on everyone else. Like every other time her mind fell into this spiral, she tried to remind herself that Howard had told her it had to be this way; Howard had told her to let everyone believe the stolen inventions were all his; Howard had told her to stay behind while he fled the country; Howard had told her to wait at the house while Peggy and Jarvis went to collect him as he was smuggled back into the country. Selfishly, she hoped that seeing him again would ease her guilt; he could remind her that it had been the right thing to do, and it wasn't her fault really.

She had a couple more hours to wallow in these thoughts before she would have to pull herself together and make an excuse to Ana as to why Jarvis had left so early that morning. It felt so unnatural to have to conjure a story to tell Ana – she was one of the few people she'd never felt the need to create an act for. She'd felt dreadful about lying to her recently. Was it really lying? Technically, she just wasn't telling her everything. But she'd always told her everything, so it certainly felt like a betrayal. Ana didn't seem to mind. Tonya supposed it was easier to pretend everything was alright when everyone kept telling you nothing was wrong. Her friend wasn't stupid though; she knew perfectly well everything was not alright.

Besides, it was for Ana's own good that she didn't know. Not just to give her a false sense of comfort, but also to prevent any more unpleasant interrogations like the one Jarvis had endured. Tonya had been close enough to marching into the agency and giving them a piece of her mind after Jarvis had been there; she didn't think she'd be able to stop herself if it had been Ana they'd dragged into the boxy questioning room.

Once Ana had got up, she'd have to make further excuses and lies to go and meet the others at Howard's most private residence, which wasn't particularly private in general terms, but was the best they had between them. They couldn't let Ana wake to an empty house; practically speaking, it would be far too suspicious, but she and Jarvis agreed on fonder terms that it wouldn't be fair, and so Tonya would have to stick a couple more anxious hours for the sake of her best friend. This waiting was not eased by an unexpected phone call from Peggy about half an hour before Tonya was supposed to be meeting them.