Open Minded

14

Riley

James and the boys were out looking for suits and they kindly took Greyson with them, the girls were dotted around the house doing whatever it is they were up to
I was sat in our room looking through things
It was one of those days where I can't help but look back on things 

Were we really ready for another baby? Greyse has barely had the chance to be the baby of the family
Sure he'll be a great big brother but I don't want to lose my baby just yet
But I know the moment she's here, he'll seem so much bigger 

I picked up an old baby grow of Greyson's I know he still fits in it but I remember the day he first wore it

James had decided on a random family beach day, needless to say.. Greyson was not a fan of the sand
We've done so much with Greyson but I can't help but think there is so much more left to do. Some more thing I want him to experience himself 
He's only just mastered walking, managed to say I love you without having to now make him feel like he's being pushed aside for the new baby 

I smiled holding the baby grow close to my chest before walking over to the photo album, I don't leave the house for a trip without it. This hold everything Greyson has ever done 
I opened it up and the first photo I found made my heart melt a little bit 

Greyson had maybe been out of the hospital for a week at this point, James and I were in this complete and utter bubble with him. We barely spoke to anyone and if we did it was always brief
All we wanted to do was watch him, whether he was awake or sleeping, our eyes were always on him

He was such a calm baby, he was one that barely cried and I couldn't ever be more thankful
As he grew up, he caught James' curiosity and was always wanting to explore, whether it be 'what's mum hiding in the locked cabinet' or 'is this grass edible' Greyson tried his best to answer his own questions

From the moment we found out Greyson was a boy, I think everyone knew he would be a mummy's boy I don't think anyone would realise I'd be come a Greyson's girl
The moment I met him, my heart felt complete
Like He was the one thing that I was needing in my life

His smile was contagious, his little giggle when he was being tickled would be the one thing I needed for a bad day to turn into a good one instantly 

Now Greyson and James have always had a special relationship too. They are both as strange as each other. If the pair of them are alone and quiet they are most likely scheming together 

I remember when I told James about Greyson, he was so worried. He was scared he wouldn't be a good dad but god he's smashed it out of the park, all he's done since Greyson arrived was make him the happiest little boy alive 

We are still young and having Greyson along side us was a big switch, we went from two kids in love to being nothing but strangers to falling in love again and having a baby 
It's crazy when you think of everything James and I had been through to get to where we are. It's hard to think of a time it wasn't James and I 

If you had told me this was the plan for my life when I first met James? I would have laughed in your face

I never expected to even fall for James but when I did, god I fell hard and that boy knew all about it 

Greyson will always be my priority but I still can't shake the feeling that I'm letting him down. He doesn't understand what's going on, he doesn't know how his life is all about to change in a matter of weeks..

What if he isn't ready? I know I talk about James and I being ready but there is a third person in this equation

I closed the album before wiping some tears and grabbing my shoes
I needed to get out of here right now, I needed sometime to speak
As soon as I got to the bottom step, all the girls turned to look at me. The smiles on their faces dropping the moment they noticed my tears

"Riley are you okay?" Emily asked and I nodded before slipping my shoes on
"Where are you going?" Piper asked
"Just for a walk" I said already out the door

"Riley!" Emily yelled attempting to chase after me but it was no use, I was in the car heading away from the house