Beomjun | A Hanahaki Story
❀ [COMPLETED]
Blood Painted Flowers.
In which Beomgyu has come to terms with his disease, not knowing someone is already there to save him.
All the boy wanted was to wither away and escape this pain ─ because sometimes de...
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Ch. 018 —
❀
[Yeonjun.]
I haven't seen you this happy in a long time — but is 6 weeks really that long?
I'm just glad you're back. I don't think I could have handled your sadness much longer, it's been really eating me up. But I regret having these feelings, because I know whatever you're feeling on the inside is way worse than I could ever imagine.
When it was really bad all I could have hoped for was your pain to transfer over to me. Why couldn't I have been the one cursed to carry this disease instead? It wouldn't be surprising. After all, I've come to terms that my interest in you is more than just simple fondness. I've loved you for so long and yet this disease decides to curse you instead.
The universe is so selfish.
Your happiness should have never been taken from you just like that. Curse this stupid disease for making you feel this way.
When you told me the flowers were becoming less and less, I couldn't help but worry. Why are they slowly dissipating?
I have no clue how Hanahaki is supposed to go as you progress through the different stages. I always been too scared to look up more info online — only going off the memories I have from that one book I read a couple years back — but I feel like I need to know. I want to help you, after all. I need to help you.
As my cursor hovers over the search bar I feel the hole in my stomach sink deeper. Every time I tried doing this all I could feel was that endless pit becoming more and more infinite. The pain increasing as it becomes harder to breath — similar to how you're probably feeling.
And at the thought of your pain I find myself typing away the questions I've been putting off. Because the more I think about you, the more selfish it makes me feel for not at least trying to understand.
The reason I avoided this so much was to cope. I thought I'd inevitably have to. Well, that was until your promise of the surgery if it all goes wrong. It hasn't, it's only improved and thank god for that. I used to try and convince myself that if I avoided this it'll make moving on easier. But remembering that makes me want to throw up.
Because for one, that's so fucking sick. What if I could have saved you? And two, I'll never be able to move on from you.
I'm gonna get all the info I need to save you from this pain. Because you, my best friend who I love the most — in more ways than I should — do not deserve this pain.
I'm gonna save you, Beomgyu. I will save you from those treacherous thorns.
