Seven

Chapter 49

"Shit." I groan at how good she feels around me. Lily moans in response, the noise sends a trickle down my spine and I begin to move slowly in and out of her. Fucking her feels incredible, like nothing I've experienced before with anyone. I feel so connected to her this way, being trusted to see her in her most sensitive state gives me the weirdest sense of egotism. So many men will want her but she's chosen me. She wants me, has feelings for me. And I'll do everything in my power to keep it that way.

I grab her hips and flip her around quickly so her stomach is now pressed to the mattress and begin pounding harder into her from behind. Lily rewards my actions with loud moans and her hands desperately clutching to the bedsheets my her head. I feel the build in the base of my spine, the slow increase of excitement edging it's way forward. The faster I go the louder Lily gets till suddenly, I hear nothing.

Silence.

I can feel the dull movement of my body still rocking into hers. But I no longer feel her around me, no long feel her skin under my hands, no longer feel the pleasure that was building inside of me. My body is numb, my mind blank. A silent hum fills my ears, the same kind I would drown myself to listen to in the bathtub as a kid. My body sways aimlessly without me even controlling it. My eyes pick out lights and colours but it's all a fuzzy screen to them. No definition, all just a blurring patchwork of nothingness till my eyes glaze over to notice not even the colours.

My mind has switched off, and suddenly I'm unsure how long I've been stuck in the silence for. I've forgotten what I was even doing before the silence, where I am, what time of day it is, who I am ...

"Harry." A woman's voice echos in the deafening ibis of silence my body is trapped in.

"Harry, stop!" And suddenly, just like a lamp being turned on in a vast dark room, I'm out of the silence. The colour and definition comes back into view, the sound, the warmth. I blink, looking down at my hand pushed heavily into Lilianna's soft back as she squirms beneath me trying to escape my hold. Immediately I let go and step back.

"Fuck, Lily! I'm sorry, I'm so sorr-" My words fall short seeing the red marks on her back from my hold.

"Shit, baby." I go to touch over the red skin and she jerks away from me. Turning around and shifting up further onto the bed. She grabs the blanket, dragging it up over her body to cover herself.

Shit. I'm a fucking piece of shit, what did I do? Did I hurt her? Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

"I'm sorry Lil, I switched off. I didn't mean to." I panic as her eyes don't meet mine. Fuck. Fuck this is not good.

"Did I hurt you?" I can't control the cracks in my voice. She shakes her head.

"Please don't lie to me. Tell me if I hurt you." She is the kindest person I know, and the thought that she'd lie about me hurting her to protect me from my own guilt is definitely something Lily would do. But she shakes her head again.

"You didn't hurt me. You were just ... rough." She says quietly staring down at the bedsheets.

"I'm so fucking sorry, Lily. I didn't mean to be I swear it just — I just, well I don't know I just-"

"Switched off. I know." Lily finishes for me. I move to sit near her on the edge of the bed, cautious of her reaction but she doesn't move or look at me. I had always feared this would happen with her, that I would go too far.

"You believe me right? I didn't mean to. I would never hurt you." I want to reach out and touch her, to move her hair from her face so I can gauge what's going on in her head but I'm worried that she doesn't want me to touch her right now.