Crashing Stephanie

7 Hitting the Wall

The elevation changes made walking tougher now as they worked their way through the foothills. Tom was struggling with each step up the rocky slopes.

Tom had lost a significant amount of weight, and his energy level seemed to be dropping more each day. They were both tired and hungry, and both had lost weight, but something more was going on with Tom.

Steph gathered the firewood without being asked and filled the cooking pot with water so they could boil their evening allotment of meat. She found a patch of blueberries and filled her pockets before returning to camp. The berries would make a nice dessert after dinner.

Tom sat uncomfortably as he boiled the meat and edibles into a stew for their dinner. When ready, Tom, as usual, filled both bowls with their meager portions and handed Steph her bowl. Steph had noticed something, though, and realized what Tom had been doing. Steph stood and looked at Tom's bowl. It was half of what was in her bowl.

"DAMMIT, Tom," Stephanie shouted, "What is this? Is this why you've been struggling and often needed to stop? You've been giving me more than my share all along, haven't you? You ASSHOLE! What gives you the right to decide for me!" Steph felt her face burn red with anger.

Tom tried to say she needed it more than he did, but Steph was in no mood to hear it.

"How dare you decide that I need to eat while you starve. You ASSHOLE! I thought you might have been injured in the crash." Steph dumped the contents of her bowl into Tom's and said, "You eat every bit of that, or I am going to shove it down your throat. You are no good to me the way you are. Now EAT!"

Steph was so mad she could have chewed tree bark for dinner. She stayed with her face inches from Tom's as he slowly ate all the food. About halfway through his meal, Steph saw Tom's eyes moisten, and one tear escaped as he told her he was sorry. Steph refused to soften, though, and angrily said to him that he should be sorry. She would comfort him later, but he had put them in a bad position by letting himself get so weak, and right now, he would endure her wrath.

When Tom finished his meal, Steph built up the fire and used the remaining daylight to pick more blueberries. Picking berries helped calm Steph down. She decided from now on, she would take charge of dishing out the food. Tom was going to need more food to get better.

Steph shouted, "Big-handed, Baffoon." Her anger had passed, but her determination was greater than ever. She gave a frustrated "Ugh" as she returned to their camp, "That damn man made me lose my temper! Just because I'm a girl, he thinks he needs to treat me that way. So frustrating!"

Back at camp, Tom had laid out their sleeping pads. As usual, Steph's was between his pad and the fire. Steph switched the sleeping pads so Tom's was closest to the fire. After getting chewed out earlier, Tom would not say a word.

Once the fire was built up, Steph helped Tom onto his mat, then laid right behind him with her body against him, her arms around him. "Don't get any ideas, Tom," she said, "I'm just trying to keep you alive, so when we get out of this, I can kill you for being such a jerk."

After a while, and in a softer voice, Steph said, "Look, I know you had the best intentions, and I was, well, difficult at first, but no more treating me like a princess. You got that?" Tom said, "I got it." Steph squeezed him tightly, then relaxed. She said, "Go to sleep, goofball. And thank you for getting us this far. I have not thanked you for all you have done, and I should have."

Diary Day 24: I forgot to write something the last few days. The mystery of Tom's health is solved. The jerk has been giving me most of the food. That's wrong. He is not a jerk. He is kind and caring, but he forgot that he has to survive for me to survive. I've learned so much! I've changed so much! He should have left me in that valley to die. But he didn't—I needed to step up and pull my weight.