Lead On (Complete)

~ Chapter 20 ~

"You look like you have questions." Rose looked up from her coffee mug to look at Anna and shook her head.

"No, not questions, maybe reservations."

"About?"

"Going to the beach. Mom knows Jeff's going and she's not thrilled. She thinks I'm going to give in to him or something."

"Moms are allowed to think that. And you know I love your mom, but this is your life." Anna sat her coffee cup down and Rose glanced from it to her. "Look, I have always liked Jeff and he did you wrong, there is no denying that. And there is no denying you two still love each other. But if your heart, and your body, long to be with him because no one else is cutting it, then it's okay to be with Jeff too.

"Rose, I have watched you with the little one-nighters you take home and none of them make you happy. You've gone on dates here and there and that's it. I hate seeing you alone, but why is that? Why have you never found anyone else after Jeff? I mean it was ten years."

"I...," but Rose couldn't say. Even ten years later, which was insane, Rose was connected to that man and every man thereafter lacked when she compared them to him. How they talked to her, how they treated her, and how they fucked her, and all were lacking. She hadn't found one that she had that spark with and she'd rather be alone than to not feel it.

"I get it. Jeff isn't ideal and perfect, but he was perfect for you."

"Yes. And as horrible as it may be, there was no one else I felt the same with. It kills me that Jeff still has my heart but I've tried taking it back and it won't come back." Anna put her hand over Rose's and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"Honey, you don't have to explain it to me. I'm an outsider looking in and I can see what you two have. And anytime someone is around you, they can feel the energy that comes off of you, it's intense. I think the more foolish thing to do is to ignore that. I think you're smart and you know to make him, which work is nice, and knowing the end result...." Rose quickly stood up and cut her off.

"That's just it. That end result can have my heartbreaking all over again. And if that happens, I can't survive a round two!" Rose sat back down and covered her face. "Maybe that's what it is, I'm not sure I want that chance again." Anna smiled and took a sip of her own coffee.

"It's the beach honey, not a date or a commitment. There will be other people to talk to and if you want to avoid him you can. Just remember that okay?" Rose nodded and smiled because that was the truth. She was going in thinking she had to deal with Jeff and she didn't, she just had to remember that. This was a whole group of people, not just the four of them.

"You're right I know that. And I can do that."

"Of course." Anna looked up as the sound of cars pulling up could be heard just as Jimmy came into the kitchen.

"I got the cooler packed in the truck. Jeff and Ted just pulled up with Becky, Suzie, and Joanne. Dave said he'll meet us there with Todd, Amber, and little Henry."

"Perfect. Sounds like we're ready to go." Rose finished her coffee and put the cup in the sink, giving hers and Anna's a quick wash.

"Let me just grab my bag and I'll go put it in the truck," Rose told them as she walked to the living room. She froze, though, as she saw another rose lying on her bag, this one dyed a more orange color. She looked around, seeing no one around, and she hadn't heard anyone else come in. She lifted it up, looked around again, and shrugged; there was only one person doing this so it wasn't like she really needed to know. She was just curious as to how when she hadn't heard him. She walked out to Jimmy's truck and was about to put her bag in when Jeff came up behind her.