𝐏𝐡𝐨𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐱 || 𝐀𝐧𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧 𝐒𝐤𝐲𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐞𝐫

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟕: 𝐇𝐚𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝, 𝐈 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐟𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐉𝐞𝐝𝐢 𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫.

—Yeah, yeah, I get it. But you can stop pretending like you hate him, when we know, you don't. At least not fully. —His lips turned to a line when he moved his hands up and down with a dubitative gesture.

—Oh but I do. That's the problem.

—Why?

—Why? He is annoying as fuck, and he mocks me 24/7, and he is the one that started the whole problematic situation between us, ugh, and he is always pushing my buttons...

—And you don't do the same? —He squinted his eyes. I stayed in silence, giving him all of the answers he needed. —You like it. The bickering. It's fun, isn't it? —It looked like he was remembering something, almost like talking to himself.

—I guess it is...but why are we talking about this? What if I find him attractive? I shouldn't do something about it anyway. It's against the rules. —I stated my case and he just laughed. 

Coldly. Sarcastically. Bitterly.

—Rules... rules. Such a funny concept. Made to keep us centered, but they make us lose control instead. —He stared at the emptiness of the city, the noises not loud enough to cloud his voice. —Let me tell you something about rules, Phoenix. Something I should have known a long time ago... They can all go to hell.

Silence reigned once more and I stared at him, totally shocked at his statement. Qui-Gon had always said that Obi-Wan was a strict follower of processes and rules. 

He reached something in the pocket of his brown robe and took out a box of cigarettes. He offered one and I happily took it, then lit both of them.

—You talking from experience? —I asked, puffing the white stick.

He looked back at me, taking his sweet time to answer. Obi-Wan inhaled heavily, sucking all of the nicotine in.

—Rules took everything from me. —He let out the smoke, creating a gray cloud.

—What do you mean? —My eyebrows furrowed.

—Some time ago, I... —He let another dark chuckle out. —I was... you can say, in love, with a woman. —He put the cigarette between his lips once more and puffed. Like retrieving strength to tell the story.

—Obi-Wan, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to...

—No, no, it's fine. I want to. I could never tell this to Anakin or Qui-Gon, they would be very disappointed. —He sighed and stared at the floor. —We were young and naive, but very much in love. I was still a padawan and she was in line to ascend to the throne of Mandalore. There was so much at stake... For the longest time, we tried to hide it from everybody, even from ourselves. But there's so much a heart can take. And mine was ready to burst for her. 

I thought I was hallucinating when I saw little tears forming in his eyes. 

—We were young. So young. We didn't know anything about love. So we let it go. —we puffed at the same time, sinking into the heavy silence, only broken by the sound of our blows.

—What was of her? —I asked, praying that I wasn't crossing any boundaries.

—We reunited years later. I was a Jedi Master and she was the Duchess of Mandalore. It was more impossible than before.—He dropped a stiff laugh. —But seeing her again was like balm on an aching sunburn, so refreshing, relieving the pain on my wounded heart. I punched myself over and over again, punishing myself for letting her go once. Even after years of distance, I felt as connected to her as the first day. Our love remained through everything.

—Did she feel the same?—At this point I was too invested in his story telling, basically on the edge of the terrace just to see his reactions as he narrated the story.