Letters to You

2.1.13

2.1.13

Dear You,

So you have no idea how much you've been on my mind lately. Like more than I ever thought I would, it's funny how things, minds, opinions change right?

At first I thought you were a complete snob, I thought that you were so full of yourself. That no one could be possibly better than you. That you were the absolute 'king' of the place. I had already made my own little promise. I was going to ruin you, I was going to make you fall. Not for me, of course. I couldn't possibly imagine a guy thinking of me 24-7 but yes I was going to make you fall... how?

You didn't give me time to think, you didn't let my mind have time to hatch a plan to do so. My mind wasn't fast enough to make an ideal of how I was going to tear you down.

I was going to get under your skin, make your life miserable, regret that you had ever met me, of course it would be a foolish thing to do so, because you didn't have a good motive to hurt you. But lemme tell you one thing boy, if I don't like you, I will straight up demonstrate it. At firsthand I disliked you, yes disliked. Hate is such a strong word, but I couldn't feel that because I don't. Now?

Now, you're my kryptonite, now when I see your face I can't help but smile. You don't seem to understand how much of an effect it has on me. My stomach whirls, my head spins, my eyes get blurry, and all I see is you. I've only known you for a at least three days, and I'm not saying I'm in love with you. I'm just saying that I have a major crush on you. So tell me what should I do?

Should I get to know you better, or should I hide my face like I always do? You see, I have a major problem. I tend to hide my feelings, from the stupid fear of rejection. I've learned to keep my mouth shut, to keep everything bottled. Either way it's a lose-lose situation, if I say something there's a great possibility for you not to feel the same, then it'll just make things awkward. Then I'll be a laughing stock to everyone, and I don't want that. But I really like you, they say to the real beauty is on the inside, I'm already seeing yours. Question is, are you seeing mine?

I hope so.

Getting to know you is like reaching for the stars, impossible. You're too quiet, and I love that about you, but I also need to know what you think. I'm not a mind reader, duh.!

But hopefully next week something'll happen. Next week when you come to my house, that's if you come. Because you have a tendency to not go to other people's homes. Why? Go figure.

But I'm hoping this time will be different. I'm hoping that this isn't like my last crush, that left me broken hearted, but I amazingly healed so fast. I guess I could say that I wasn't in love with that person, but you. Boy you're a completely different story.

Do you want to know about the last guy? No?

Okay, well either way I was ten when I met him. I treated him like any other guy, he was like an older brother. When I turned twelve I began to see him with different eyes. I saw him as a love interest. Why? Because he always looked at me, he showed that he may liked me. That's why I started to like him, or so I thought. You know, the type of like where you basically planned your entire life with him. But whatever, that summer day was when it happened. His engagement party.

I'll admit, at first I was crushed, like any other girl would have been. But after I thought about it, after I analyzed the situation I realized that I didn't really have that strong a feelings as I thought I did. I got over it, and now I look back and it was just a silly kiddy crush. Just to make things clear, that crush lasted since I was eleven, to seventeen.

But you, you're different. I hope.

Sincerely,

Me