Angelic Demon

Chapter 6: Trinity

Missed me?

Or

This story?

****

"I'm sorry."

Without moving an inch but gaze, I looked up at the speaker of those words who continued, "I shouldn't have behaved the way I did the other day."

My expression remained unchanged while he occupied the seat in front me. It was looking like he really felt remorse for what he did or said. His eyes were dull, shoulders slouchy and lips pressed in thin line, not knowing what else to say. I continued stirring my coffee without bothering to give him a reply. Why should I?

"Kia..." He kept his hand over mine that was resting on the table. I glared at him but he ignored, adding, "I get it. It's absolutely up to you whom you choose to be friends with. I've no say in that except for, I'd really love to be your friend Kia. You were the first person who bonded with me here. I don't know what happened after that.."

You bonded more with my sister and I became a tag along.

"Say something na, Kiara." He spoke softly.

I leaned back on my chair, sighing, "Samar.."

His eyes were looking at me impatiently waiting for my reply that I didn't have. What am I supposed to say? That I don't know why I feel like this or what I feel for him. Or how I feel for him. Why I feel the way I feel when I see him with Kaira.

"You know I cannot read your mind, right?" He tried to make it playful.

"I wish you did." Resting my arms on the table, I leaned forward. Tapping my fingers on it I continued, "then maybe.. maybe things would have been different." My sentence ended with a smile that was neither happy nor sad. Just so that I didn't appear rude or hollow.

"Different- as in?"

"Different means... different." I shrugged sitting straight, "it could have been anything. Anything but this."

He smiled thinking something to himself and looking up at me he asked, "have you ever done something that made you think- only if I hadn't done that then things would have been different." These immediate words played the accident in my mind. Only if. Kaira's behaviour wouldn't have changed, my family's thoughts about me wouldn't have been what it is now; and most importantly, my hands wouldn't have been painted with someone's blood.

"It seems that you have." Samar stated softly.

Lifting a corner of my lips a little, I shook my head slightly to clear my thoughts, returning his question, "have you?"

He let out a silent chuckle, "yeah, long ago." And again his eyes seemed lost somewhere back in time, "and you know the worst part?" He had all my attention, I couldn't hear or see anything except for him, even though we were sitting in the most noisy place but all I could see or hear was him, who was still living in his past in that moment, "the worst part is- it ruined many people's life, including mine." After what seemed liked forever, he finally looked at my direction, "life would have been ordinary and beautiful." He smiled in a way that showed his longing for something he never had; or maybe he almost had and lost.

My eyes were looking at him intently, trying to find more than what he was sharing, trying to understand him; to know him, his aching, his longing. But it was really hard to read him. He was always around his friends, having conversation, yet, none here knew anything about him apart from what he shared and what he shared was very basic. His expression was never hard, forever gentle and smiling. He was smiling even now, but it was different than usual. He was lost.. not lost, living in some time of his life that he missed- but what?