I Ain't Waiting For The World To Change

27. - I'm Standing Here Until You Make Me Move

“Val, you didn’t do anything wrong. With the whole thing I only talked to Tracey and Jess was because they aren’t so attached towards Johnny. I mean you’re like a really big family and you know him way longer than me so I didn’t want anyone like you have to decide on which side you are.”

“You’re silly,” she said and laughed – which wasn’t a pretty noise as she was still crying.  "You know where your mistake was?" Val asked after a while when she had calmed down. I didn't say anything to show her I didn't."We know Johnny and I could've told you that he's crazy about you! Remember the first time he had asked you out? He came to me and was freaking out 'cause he was so nervous. And guess whom he came to ask for advice to get you back? But this time I really couldn't help him." Now she was back in her element. "This guy really loves you and you must do what's best for you but I think you were both happier when you were together. Sometimes he has his times, but everyone has them. You just need to learn to ignore them."

"You finished yet?" 

"Hm, yes I think I'm indeed."

"Good then why were you crying? And don't tell me bullshit, I know it wasn't because Johnny and me."

“Well I just got my period,” she admitted.

“So, I know this can be painful and everything and you get a bit emotional, but you were crying a river, Val,” was my way to tell her that I knew that this wasn’t it.

“Maybe I thought I was pregnant?” It was more a question than a statement.

“Oh,” was my only reaction and I facepalmed myself. This was not what she hoped to get so I tried it again. “I’m sorry, hun. But it’s not the end of the world, you’re young you have every time…”

She interrupted me. “No, you’re young. I’m not that young anymore, don’t tell me I have every time in the world, that’s exactly what Chelle told me. But it’s not true. I don’t want Matt to feel guilty, but he’s away so often. I know this is what he loves to and I would never ask him to stop that, but that’s why we don’t have all the time in the world. You know what the worst is?” She asked again.

I shook my head until I noticed that she wasn’t able to see it, but she went on without my answer. “I think Matt kind of hoped I was pregnant too this time and I’m kind of scared to tell him,” she admitted. “I even didn’t tell Chelle the reason, ‘cause I know her and she would tell Brian who would tell Matt. So, what should I do?”

I was a bit surprised that she asked me for advise. She had admitted it herself: I was a bit younger than her. “What are you afraid of? Matt loves you, he really does. But I think I don’t have to tell you that. You think he’s going to be disappointed in you? You should know him better, Val. It’s not your fault and it’s not like he’s going to think any less of you, honey. And I bet he won’t deny any more practice,” with this I had her chuckling.

“Maybe you’re right,” she admitted.

“Not maybe, I’m sure,” I told her.

“I just wonder why you give me this wise advice and don’t do anything for yourself,” she wondered and I sighed.

“It’s not the same,” I told her.

“I know it’s not the same, but I don’t see the problem. You love him, he loves you – what else do you need? But I think that’s not my business. You know if you need someone to talk to you can call me – even if it’s deep in the night here.”

“I know, thanks Val,” I said and we said our goodbyes. After that I grabbed my jacket and left my hotel room. I was getting something to eat and the first thing I saw was a KFC. I had some problems to get my order back to my room, but somehow I managed it.