Aeipathy

Chapter 38

So if Tris would be happy with Kaylee, who am I to step in between? Kelangan ko lang marinig kay Tris kung iyon talaga yung gusto nya and I'll be happy to let her go. Mas gusto ko pa din naman na makita syang masaya. Even if that happiness is not with me. I'm okay with it.

Nagawa ko naman noon na tanawin lang sya sa malayo. Magpapansin ng kaunti. Magpanggap na balewala lang din ito. Samantalahin yung mga pagkakataon na maibuhos yung lahat ng naipon kong inis at pagkairita sa lantaran na kalandian nya.

Just to love her on my own way. Afar.

I waited patiently as I try to stop my trail of thoughts. Masyado ng masakit yung mga naiisip ko. Ayokong pangunahan ang mga bagay bagay hangga't hindi pa nangyayari.

This is just my exclusive ticket to be with Tris. I should just seize every moment, every second, every minute that she's still finding me appealing. When that fascination wards off, babalik na lang ako ulit sa Isla. Sabi naman ni Mom, I can chase my happiness, but if it's not for me, the island and our family are always there patiently waiting to comfort me.

I readied my smile as I inhale the familiar scent approaching. And when I opened my eyes, I saw those two figures.

Tris and Kaylee, holding each other's hands, both laughing.

Happiness suits them both.

"E-Eris.."

Ngumiti ako kay Tris na halatang nawalan ng kulay yung mukha nang makita ako. Para pa nga itong natatakot. I even notice the way she immediately let go of Kaylee's hand.

"Kanina ka pa ba dyan?"

"Hmm?" I slowly shake my head as I said my lie. "Kadarating ko lang." itinuro ko yung pinanggalingan ko. "I saw Harrice kasi kanina, hinahatak ako kung saan saan. And I hate to socialize kaya I just tried to look for you to escape that."

Halatang hindi kumbinsido si Tris na sumulyap pa muna kay Kaylee. "We were just talking ni Lee. I am just telling her na hindi sya dapat gumawa ng eksena don dahil lang dumating si Payne."

I know that Tris is just waiting for me to confront her. She's probably getting the idea that I saw what happened between the two of them.

But why does her excuse sounds defensive?

"It's okay." I shrugged my shoulder. "Matagal pa ba kayo? I could just grab us a drink while waiting."

"No. No." Mabilis na pagtanggi ni Tris at saka hinawakan ako sa braso. Tuluyan na nga itong lumayo kay Lee at lumapit sakin. "Sama na ako sayo. Lee will be fine. She'll be just sleeping in her room. Right, Lee?"

Instead of agreeing, Lee just shook her head. Hinatak pa nito pabalik sa tabi nito si Tris. Kumapit sa braso nito na akala mo pag-aari yung babaeng hawak nito.

That thought made me wince.

"Samahan mo ko, Tris. I can't sleep on my room alone. I might just cry the whole night. I need you. Sanay naman na si Eris na mag-isa. Okay lang yon sa kanya. Di ba, Eris?"

Out of all the experiences I've had with Tris whenever it concerns Lee and Elle, alam ko na hinding hindi ito makakatanggi doon. At ayoko din naman na pahirapan syang pumili. But still, a part of me is saying that it's worth a beginner's luck.

Ano kayang pakiramdam kung sakaling tanungin ko si Tris at pinili nya ko?

And I don't want that question to just remain as is. Yung tanong lang na kahit kailan ay hindi masasagot kung lagi akong natatakot na itanong.

Kung noon, I'll just pretend oblivious and passive. Right now, I just want Tris to decide what she wants.

"Uhm, yes." I nod my head bago ngumiti kay Kaylee. Si Tris naman ay mataman lang na nakatingin sakin. That's why I met Kaylee's stares as I say, "Sanay ako mag-isa. I don't need anyone to comfort me nor to complete me. But if Tris will be happy to accompany me, I'd be happy. Pero kung hindi, it's fine. Sabi mo nga, sanay naman ako. If Tris would choose you because you can't be alone, I'd understand."