over and over [Jacob black x OC] [[complete]] ..twilight..

13

she had a little red dent in her head where the blood came out. she was okay but it definitely needed stitches.

we spent a couple of hours in the ER waiting for a doctor to stitch her up. Jake and I spent some time playing tic tac toe and hangman. we got bored of that and just watched the cooking show on the TV.

"your birthday's coming up," Jacob said with a little smile. "17, right?"

I nodded. "dancing queen, young and sweet."

"shut up," he laughed. "that was so corny. are you doing anything fun?"

with a shrug, I said, "I don't know, I don't think so."

"do you wanna come over?" he asked.

I looked at him like he wasn't being serious.

"what?" he pressed ignorantly.

"you're just saying that to be nice," I said quietly, almost a whisper. I felt stupid and embarrassed.

"you really think that?" he asked, surprised.

"I don't know. sorry, I have to go to the bathroom," I said, standing and walking away before the conversation could continue any further.

I hid in the bathroom for nearly ten minutes. I lost track of time running a finger up and down one arm, then the other. my chest felt a little weird. my mouth was dry. it was hard to stand up, and when I did, my vision faded and pressure dropped from my head as if nothing was in there anymore. I stood there, blinking, and my vision came back momentarily. I washed my hands and walked back to the waiting room.

"you okay?" he asked, watching as I sat down next to him. whoosh, the pressure in my head was fluctuating.

I closed my eyes and nodded. my chest felt weird. i asked him if he could find some water. he got up and did just that.

I opened my eyes when I heard his footsteps approaching. he was holding a cold water bottle. he handed it to me and stood there in front of me, not making any motion to sit back down.

I slowly drank about half before handing it back to him. he just stood there.

"what?" I asked, confused.

he shook his head and sat back down. he actually looked a little angry. "you look terrible."

I felt shocked. a little numb. pissed off. deeply upset. I couldn't say anything.

"do you, like, have an eating disorder or something?" he pressed. I couldn't look at him as he continued, "Bella says you never eat and its clear that its true."

oh, I thought to myself, I thought he was implying that I looked fat. I felt a little relieved. it was nice to know people thought I looked sickly thin. that meant it was working.

"I eat," I mumbled, looking at my hands. I pulled my dark red sleeves over my hands. "I'm fine, really. I just lost some weight."

"some," he repeated, scoffing. "I shouldn't be able to see your bones through a sweater."

I frowned, and after a moment of silence, I got up and moved to sit across the room. I didn't want to talk about this. he stared me down and I ignored him until Bella came out and we left.

for my birthday, Bella and Jacob offered to take me to a movie. I let Jacob pick because I didn't really care what we saw. there was nothing good out at the time. I didn't really want to go, either. I was feeling lightheaded and my stomach was killing me. this wasn't anything unusual, though. nothing I couldn't sit through.

except I couldn't sit through it. not even halfway through the movie, I had to rush out of the theater and barely made it to the bathroom before throwing up water and stomach acid into the toilet. it was a terrible sensation. I hadn't eaten because my stomach hurt, and now my stomach hurt because I had nothing to throw up. I was dry heaving and gagging there, knees aching on the white tiles. my head and throat were burning, I felt hot and sweaty one moment, then I was shivering cold the next. Bella came in to check on me but I asked her to leave out of embarrassment.

finally, I was confident that I could stand up and ask to go home, so I did. Bella offered some rare comfort and wrapped an arm around me.

Jake helped walk me to the car, unafraid of a walking vomit-hazard. I would've been too squeamish to do the same. he sat in the back with me on the way home with one hand on my arm. I remember thinking that his touch was really hot and I wondered if my body temperature was just lower than normal. I leaned my head out of the window for the fresh air. my eyes were closed and I tried to stay calm and steady.

I spent the night on the bathroom floor with a pillow and blanket. Bella left some saltines and ginger ale by the bath tub. I hadn't consumed a full-sugar soda in years, but I indulged in a few sips. it was my birthday and I deserved some relief.

as soon as I felt well enough to go back to my own bed the next morning, it was Bellas turn to sleep on the bathroom floor. she was probably throwing up real food. I brought her a fresh, cold ginger ale in the afternoon like she had for me. she gave me a thumbs-up. I tried to sleep until the next day but it was hard.

at the end of the week, Jacob wasn't returning any texts or calls from myself nor Bella. it was strange. we cynically thought he might have died from the flu. Bella tried to visit him but billy had told her he had mono.