Promises (Jack Gilinsky)

Chapter 67

"Wait," I say as I stand up. "So he's gonna be okay?"

"Well, I'm not going to make any promises, because there is a slight possibility that something could change. But by the looks of it, he should be fine. His brain just hasn't fully recovered yet."

With that, the doctor walks out of the room.

"Did you hear that?" I say a bit too excitedly, turning the guys. "Jack's gonna be okay!"

I can actually feel my face lighting up at the thought of this. Jack will be okay. I don't have to worry anymore. Everything is going to go back to normal.

But, nobody else seems to be as happy as me. Of course they all look relieved, but not exactly happy like me.

"Charlotte," Mahogany says. "Don't get your hopes up too much. You heard the doctor. There's still a chance that he doesn't wake up."

Mahogany and I haven't exactly talked much since the accident, so I don't necessarily want to hear anything negative from her right now.

"You're kidding right?" I ask with a sudden burst of attitude. "The doctor almost guaranteed that Jack will be okay."

"Yes, we understand that," Sammy says. "But we just don't think that you should be just assuming that he'll be fine. It will only make it worse for you."

"Yeah," Nash adds. "If you just expect him to be okay, then what's gonna happen if he's not. We don't want you to get hurt if that happens."

"Why are you all so-"

I stop speaking when I finally realize what's going on.

"I see what's going on," I say. "You all think I'm going crazy, don't you? Johnson probably told you everything that happened and now you all think that I'm a mess. Well, newsflash everybody: I'm fine."

I suddenly feel anger boiling up inside of me. I don't know where it came from, but I can't do anything but let it out. "I don't need help from any of you, okay?" I speak again, raising my voice this time. "If anything, you guys have only made it worse for me. You think that I need to be around you to feel better, but all I feel is guilt, because we all know that this was my fault. And it doesn't matter what I think is going to happen, I'll be a mess either way. Having these expectations won't matter once this all is over. If Jack doesn't come back, then we all know that I'll give up and you'll just stop trying to help anyway. I've heard so many of you say 'we want to help' or 'we are here for you'. But face it, you all won't want to be around me if I'm that bad. So stop acting like you will, because that's what will really hurt me, not these stupid expectations that you think are so bad for me."

When I look around, it doesn't seem as though I've sparked any sort of reaction from anyone with my little outburst. The only thing I see on their face is hurt. Maybe it's from the fact that they might lose their best friend, or maybe it's from my words, but either way, it's because of me.

Johnson, being the responsible and reasonable one, is the first to say anything. "I think we should go wait in the waiting room. Being in here probably isn't the best thing to do right now."

"No," I snap again. "I'm not leaving"

"Why not?" Johnson asks calmly. However, I can see that he's starting to lose his patience for the first time.

"Because I don't want to leave Jack. Not again. You guys can do whatever you want, but there's no way I'm leaving Jack alone. You just can't seem to understand that."

"Don't tell me what I don't understand." Johnson says with a lot more attitude than I'm used to from him. I guess I finally hit the button that set him off. "You cannot just act like we don't get what you're going through. We've been going through the same things that you have. Just because we feel different things or express our emotion differently doesn't mean that we aren't hurting the same way that you are." Hearing him talk like this to me is new, but it doesn't scare me enough to get me to stop, even though I should.