Seven

Chapter 44

"What do you mean?" I frown at him.

"I don't know you just ... care more. And you're not as pissed off as you use to be." He shrugs unsure of how to communicate the changes in my behaviour. I don't say anything, instead I look back out the window. He is right though, I do care more. The weird thing is I don't even know why. Since opening myself up to my feelings for Lilianna it has opened up literally all of me, the way I reacted to Junior's dead body is an example. Usually I would feel nothing, I've been so closed off emotionally for years - since my father's funeral, but now that's all changing. I'm feeling things, all kinds of things because of Lilianna. Which is extremely dangerous in my world.

"Have you told her how you feel about her yet?" Curby shocks me by asking and I whip my head back to him once again. Talking about Lilianna to anyone feels illegal, in fact it is for me given my restrictions. I scowl at Curby, warning him not to go there.

I don't like to talk about her to others, the less they know the less they have to use against me in anyway. She is the only thing in this world that could truly hurt me, I don't need anyone to know that.

If I were normal I'd be able to answer Curby's question. I'd be able to tell him how I confessed to Lily of my feelings after we had sex for the first time. I'd tell him how amazing being inside her felt, how hard I came from the crazy pleasure - maybe not in any detail but he'd know it was the best sex of my life. And then I would share my worries about what happened after. How I confessed my feelings and the blank look in which Lily stared at me with. I had hoped she would answer with her own confession, fuck even her just telling me she liked me again would have been better than the silent look she answered me with.

I figured she didn't feel the same way about me. Or maybe she just wasn't there yet. I had held onto her so tightly when we slept that night, I was terrified I had scared her away with my honesty and didn't want her to disappear from me when I woke up. But she was there when I opened my eyes in the morning. She kissed me and let me fuck her again, this time without any confession of feelings afterwards.

That was four days ago, before I had to leave to come here for this job. We haven't talked much since I left either, she did call two days ago and we talked briefly on the phone. I've never been one for texting but I've caught myself staring at my phone hoping she would text me every so often, just so I know she's okay. I know she's staying with her friend Mesha while I'm out of town, so I'm hoping her lack of communication is simply because she's enjoying her friends company and not because of my confession of having feelings for her.

The doors to the large building open and I sit up and slap a hand to Curby's chest.

"She's coming out, pull the car around to the front." I instruct.

When we're parked at the bottom of the steps I spot our mark, Katherine Duncan, making her way down them and I get out and slide a pair of black sunglasses over my eyes.

"Mrs Duncan." I get her attention the same way I've watched her usual drivers do the past few days, and open up the backseat of the SUV for her to her in.

"Jacobs finally got a day off huh?" She smiles at me, while making a joke of her usual driver.

"Yes, ma'am." I lie. Her real driver for today is behind some dumpster with a strong sedative I injected into his neck. And without any further conversation, the unsuspecting mark willingly gets into the back of the car and I shut the door behind her.

LILIANNA'S POV

"Ugh I hope I don't get Hodges for linguistics. Everyone says he's a complete tool." Mesha groans and closes her laptop.