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tw : panic attack, mentions of anxiety
i cant handle change ; roar
fool ; cavetown
‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙
"it's nearly twelve. is yuki not back yet?" asked jay as he looked at his apple watch which displayed the time.
"i don't think so. her room is still dark," noted niki with a yawn. the members were slowly heading off to their room to sleep. all except jay, niki, and jake were in the living room watching a television show.
it was the second night that yuki's presence was absent during the night. the second night starting from the day she received harsh criticism from the instructor. the seven boys weren't dumb. they knew that something in her changed. she become more closed off (if that was possible) and was practicing even harder. her passion to get better was clearly evident.
"you guys can head to bed first. i'll wait for her," hummed jake, sitting comfortably on the couch. jay and niki exchanged glances but nevertheless, they listened to the boy.
at a separate building, yuki was done running through the dance for what seemed like the fourteenth time of the night. she panted as she sat down on the floor before reaching out and drinking her water. she needed to practice even more. she needed to practice until she could be on the same level as the rest of her members.
being one of the few female trainees in hybe, yuki had to train with the rest of the male trainees. as they didn't have enough female trainees or staff to train just a small group of people, they combined the training sessions to save money. until they had more female trainees, they could then properly separate female and male trainees. throughout her trainee years, yuki found it hard to dance the way the males did. having different anatomies, the way she would dance would differ from theirs. but that's what made her stand out. she could dance with more grace than they ever could.
yuki felt like she was in the dark during her trainee years. being one of the very few females in a dominated male group, it was harder for her to fit in with the crowd considering that she was already extremely introverted. she did occasionally have a few friends here and there but the feeling of isolation still remained with her. that's why she questioned her existence at the hybe label for years. she wanted to move to a different agency but somehow, she was always drawn to stay at hybe. there was just...something about hybe that made her want to stay.
but now, she would be debuting as the only female in a male group. she couldn't believe the news when si hyuk first told her about it. it was a crazy idea. but, yuki couldn't give up the opportunity to debut when it was given to her.
