𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒎𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒇𝒂𝒍𝒍

Guilt

Guilt, guilt rushed over me, it filled my whole body. I couldn't breathe, I felt empty, no thought's in mind. Just him, I still remember his smile although the sound of his laugh is slowly fading from my memory. 

How didn't I notice, how..?

~~~~~~

I layed in my bed, listening to the sound of little droplets of rain hitting my roof, it was relaxing and refreshing. I had time to think, think about my life, my feelings. I didn't know exactly what I felt towards Lucas, was it love? Could it really be love? I had to talk to him, but what would I even say?

 I came home from Emily's a while ago it was now 2:58 am, I couldn't really sleep after what Lucas texted me. Suddenly I got a text message again. I was scared to look at my phone, but I had to. I worked up my courage and had a small glance at my phone. It was from Lucas of course.

my bitch <3

hey esme i know this is sudden and it's hard for you to comprehend this information right now but can we meet up?

i know your not sleeping

alright the usual spot?

yeah thanks

After replying to him I finally got up from my bed and quietly sneaked downstairs. Grabbed my jacket and slipped on my dirty ass Nike air force 1's. Then made sure that my parent's were really asleep and slowly opened the door and sneaked outside. The cold wind immediately hit my sun kissed face and shivers went down my spine.

I walked down the dark street, the only source of light being the stars, the moon hid behind the clouds. Suddenly I got the urge to cry, I had so many emotions curling up inside of me, that I just had to let them out no matter what. After standing there sobbing for a while I wiped my eyes  and was about to walk forward when I bumped into someone.

They were standing right in front of me. I couldn't recognize the person right away cuz of the lack of light, but after a couple of seconds I was able to make out the persons feature's.

It was Lucas, his dark, brown, fluffy hair and lean figure. He didn't ask me anything just wrapped his hand's around me and whispered. 

-Go ahead, let it all out, cry..

I rested my head against his chest and broke down crying even more than before. My head was spinning, my chest was hurting, I couldn't make out any feeling except pain.

But Lucas was there for me, he listened to my cries, petted my hair and didn't say a word. I felt so bad for making him do this for me, but I really needed it so I continued. 

After a while, I stopped and thanked him.

-It's no big deal Esme, we all feel this way sometimes, the only thing we need is someone to talk and cry to,- he whispered 

I couldn't shake the feeling that there was much more behind his words, but I didn't have the energy to think about it right now.

-Come on let's go sit down somewhere,- Lucas gave me a comforting smile

~~~~~~

-So you're really moving huh..?- I started the painful topic while walking beside him

-Yeah.. My mom and dad are having a divorce and my mom's moving to another city so I have to come with her,- he sighed

-You'll be so far away from me..  

Me and Lucas had known each other since elementary school, so we had never been far apart for long periods of time.

-When are you moving?- I asked, my voice shaking

-In two days, I'm so sorry Esm..

-It's alright, you have to

-But just so you know Esme our chapter together hasn't ended yet,- he gave me a sad smile

-I know it hasn't, I know..