𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒎𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒇𝒂𝒍𝒍

Stars will fall

PLAY THIS SONG: Je te laisserai des mots

I looked up at the sky and the brightly shinning stars, when suddenly I saw a shooting star and at the same exact time I got a long message.

It was from Lucas..

My heart started shaking I knew something big is about to happen, I knew that something changed, something disappeared, something left..

Life now seemed empty like a big part of me just died, like it didn't exist anymore.. With shaking hands I slowly pressed on his contact seeing the long text in font of my face broke me. It seemed empty like they were just words and nothing more. 

I somehow knew that after reading this message I'll never be the same it'll change my life, it'll change me..

I'm sorry.. I know that I'm selfish and careless for doing this to you, but life seems empty lately you were the only thing that kept me alive for years, I knew that I couldn't do it to you while I was close, it just felt wrong, but now I'm gone from your life forever. I can't live in a world that doesn't have you in it, As much as I don't wanna pain you I know that I would bring nothing else but pain into your life, your lovely smile would fade from your face and I can't bring myself to do that to you. I always knew that my journey would someday come to an end and I think that the time has come for me to say goodbye. Please don't blame yourself you did nothing wrong. It's me that's the problem of this world. You are like the sun and I'm like the moon. We spend to much time together and although we both loved it more than anything we were slowly destroying us both. I'm glad that I got to spend the last minutes in this world thinking about you. Even if I'm gone I'll never forget you. You were and are my everything, my stars, my soul, my life, my love, my happiness. You once told me that even if we're miles apart you'll still be by my side. So now I'm telling you that even if we're lives apart my soul will always be by your side.  Just know one thing I'm happy to leave this world while thinking about you. Because some stars are meant to fall and I'm one of them..

Goodbye my love, my dearest, loveliest Esm. <3

I couldn't breathe, I couldn't feel, warm pain filled tears rolled down my face. I dropped my phone on the ground, I didn't care anymore, I stood up and stared into the endless waves of the ocean. They were so free, so careless and suddenly I wanted to be a part of them, because I knew that somewhere in the distance of those waves he was patiently waiting for me. 

They say that there are 5 stages of grief:

-denial

-anger

-bargaining

-depression

and acceptance

But I had none of those, I felt nothing and so as I was walking further into the welcoming ocean I realized, that I was also "a star that was meant to fall"..