My Universe // Mark Lee

10

"Mark got into a car accident on the way home from filming. He's in critical condition," Jaehyun said.

Jaehyun's words kept repeating in my head over and over as Johnny drove all of us to the hospital.

I clung onto Jaehyun's arm in the backseat as tears filled my eyes once more, not because of the same reason from the past few weeks, but a completely new and unexpected reason.

Johnny was probably driving well-over the speed limit, but I knew he didn't care.

Mark had been so distant from them for days and I knew they had missed them just as much as I did.

We parked in front of Seoul Medical Center and ran to the ICU. The nurse made us wear protective clothing and only let two people at a time enter Mark's room.

"The patient is in a coma. He suffered severe head injuries," the doctor explained to all of us, including the remaining NCT members who had just arrived.

"Eunji should go in first," Taeyong said, the members, including Yuta, nodded in unison.

I slowly opened the door and more tears fell from my eyes. Seeing this sight was the most painful thing I had ever seen in my life. Being in hospitals reminded me of my parents' death.

Mark was lying down in the hospital bed with his mouth open for the tube to reach his chest. All I could hear were the beeping noises and his breathing through the ventilator.

I got on my knees and grabbed his hands, crying, "Mark. Mark, w-why?"

"Mark, I love you so much. I'm so sorry for not responding to your message. I'm so sorry," I continued to cry, my tears falling down onto his blanket.

Jaehyun entered the room and placed his hand on my shoulder. He was crying too.

"Mark, come on man. Why'd you end up like this, especially after what you just did to Eunji? Come on, wake up and fix things," he cried, burying his face into his hands.

"Hi, this is the patient's stuff. We found it inside the car," the doctor said, handing me Mark's phone and wallet inside a plastic bag.

I nodded and took the wallet out. My heart sank when I saw a photo of me on the inside and Mark had written "the love of my life" on the back of it.

His wallet was filled with IDs and cards, but a piece of paper had fallen out from the ID slot.

Jaehyun gave me a nod to see what was on it.

I unfolded the piece of paper and recognized Mark's handwriting. The letter was addressed to me.

"Dear Kim Eunji,

By the time you read this letter, then I probably hurt you very badly. Your head must be filled with so many questions and it hurts me just to think of the fact that you are possibly crying every day. I had to go on the show to save not only my career, but everybody else's. I never told you this, but NCT was slowly coming to an end because fans were noticing mine and Yuta's tension. Because of that, we didn't give our best performances.

I didn't want to do the show. I begged the CEO and my manager for another option, just not to be on such a show with my ex-girlfriend whom I don't want to deal with ever again. However, the company has much more power than you can ever imagine. SM threatened to expel you from your university as well as blacklist you from all future universities you might apply to.

Of course, I would never allow this to happen. It was either that, or I had to pretend like I no longer cared about you. It was to save both NCT and you, the two things I love the most in my life.

It hurt me so bad everyday knowing that I couldn't talk to you, nor could I explain this to you. I knew I had to tell you someday.

Eunji, I have never loved anyone like this despite the short time we've known each other. You are absolutely everything to me and I will hold onto my promise that I'll protect you. No matter what, when all of this is over, I will come back to you and I hope that you will still come back to me.

I love you with all of my heart.

-Mark"

The page became wet with my tears as I could no longer control my emotions. My heart hurt so bad and I was filled with nothing but pain, especially as I didn't know if I could ever talk to him again and forgive him.

I sobbed into Jaehyun's arms as he read the letter, too, without saying any words. It hurt me to know that he had to pretend to hate me, all because my life could have been affected.

I was in so much pain knowing that until the end, Mark was trying to protect me from all harm, and I wish I could have turned back time to hold onto his hand a little tighter that day at the company. 

Author's Note: What did y'all think of this plot twist?!