My Life Through You

Chapter 6

When I wake up the next morning, I am glad, I didn't have any nightmares. This day will already be eventful enough without those horrific dreams.

I climb out of bed, grab my clothes, and join Jayden in the kitchen. He is preparing breakfast and making coffee. The newspaper is already lying on the counter.

"Good morning. I'll just take a shower real quick and then I'll have breakfast if that's all right." Jayden's eyes lock with mine as soon as I step into the kitchen. He looks extremely tired as every morning. His hair is not sleeked back as always but rather all over the place. His eyes seem smaller as usual, which is normal given the fact that he just woke up a couple of minutes ago. Looking at him now, I never realized how attractive Jayden actually is. Even though his eyes are narrow right now, the blue greyish color still shines through clearly. He brushes his hand through his hair trying to fix his messy hair. He failed.

I make my way into the bathroom before staring at him too long. I can't think about that right now. Even if I wanted to, I don't have any more space inside my head. Next to 'Amy', the nightmares, and specifically Benjamin there just isn't any room for anything else at the moment. And let's not forget my new job plus my first session with Dr. Barlowe I still have ahead of me.

As I step into the shower, I try to forget everything for just a minute. My head has been so dizzy in the last couple of days, and I barely allowed myself to take a break from everything. I might have not been doing much physically, but my mind has been on high speed since my very first encounter with Amy.

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"Ok, so Ryan can be extremely direct. He speaks his mind; however, he can be friendly if he wants to be. He's also quite funny when you get to know him better." We just arrived at the bookstore and just as I foreshadowed it, my nerves kicked in five minutes ago. I don't know why I am nervous. Jayden is one of the nicest, kindest people I have ever met, so it is basically genetically impossible for his brother to be awful. But what are the chances of meeting two kind people considering everyone else I have met in the past 24 years was trash? I hope my subconsciousness will stay out of my business today as far as that's possible.

"All right then. What can go wrong?" I pet the top of my thighs with both of my hands and look over at Jayden. We are still in his car right outside the bookstore.

"Precisely. That's the spirit." He laughs and I join him. He told me he couldn't come inside with me because he is late for his first class. Probably best for his students, considering his test, which was supposed to improve their grades, actually worsened them for the most part. Poor kids.

After I got out of the car and Jayden drove away, I immediately went inside the bookstore without overthinking it any further. As soon as I step inside the one-story, wooden building, the familiar scent of books fills my nose and manages to calm my nerves. I look around the little shop and I am shocked by the number of books this store holds. There are not just shelves but also piles of books scattered on the floor everywhere but not in a messy way. I instantly feel comfortable taking it all in.

I was never known or even paid author, but I always wanted to be. I never wanted to do it as a job really, I just loved writing. I never set myself any goals, regarding writing or basically anything else in my life. I never had the desire to one day be a published author, earning a ton of money and hoping my books would be made into huge movies. I just wanted to write. Because I loved it. It felt right. Before my accident though, I lost motivation. I had a huge writer's block and couldn't figure out what I wanted to do with my life. Frankly, I never really cared.

So much has happened after my accident that I barely thought about books. I read a few chapters whenever I had time at Jayden's apartment, but I completely forgot how much I actually care for reading and especially writing.