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Fragments of memories like broken shards of glass pierced through my vision, taking me back in time where the voices was distorted and the faces were blurred.
“Satisfy him. We need him to be on our side. If he suspects anything, we can grab a shovel and dig ourselves a grave. This is war and to win we must do anything.”
From a simple touch, I was brought back to the present where I blinked slowly, almost befuddled, and saw Orion kneeling before me, a look of exhaustion on his face. His voice was lowered and he gazed up at me as if he was in the business of misery and he was tired of everything he did. “You want me to beg? I’ll beg. I’ll beg till the sky weeps and the day breaks. What else can I do? Nothing I do seems to satisfy you. I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to lose my temper but I get so frustrated – with myself mostly but also, with you.”
I wondered how the snivelling creature before saw me. A dark eyebrow raised regally, I imagined myself, a smudge of black eyeliner under my lid, an unforgiving gaze, dirty blonde hair pulled high into a ponytail and a strong jaw. There was this itch inside of me that begged to be scratched, a monster that wanted to be unleashed and it appealed to the mad side, the crazed mind, the dark heart – and, some days, it was hard to fight. I didn’t want to forgive him, I wanted to strike him so hard, so loud that the sleeping bodies rose and terror bloomed in their chest. I sought to paint the sky with his blood and have the judgement day terror in the religious, the insane and the sinful.
I craved for control, for ownership like he did but more; I needed to be King and Queen, ruler and God.
It was speaking. “…I try to make you happy but it never seems to work. I don’t know what to do. I keep royally fucking up and I’m sorry…”
Muscles objecting, I forced a small smile to hide the contempt I felt. “It’s fine.” I said, even as my voice betrayed me; sounding strained.
He grabbed my hands between his. “I understand. If you don’t want to be with me, I get it. I’ve had my chance and – and,” he sighed deeply, standing up and turning away from me. “I don’t know. I don’t fucking know, damn it. I want you to be with me but I can see how unhappy I make you, and it’s selfish of me to want you to stay.”
“What happened to ‘I’ll kill you and your lovers’?”
He spun on his heel, a wetness in his eyes as he met my gaze once more and his voice cracked. “I’m fearful, I am so fucking afraid that you’ll leave me and I know I can’t force you to stay by myside but… I will drown, I will die, I can’t be without you. I’m addicted to the smell, the touch of your skin, and you. I love you, and I know I don’t show it, but I do.”
Detached from myself, a ghost standing outside of my body, I watched the exchange as the twisted voices in my head screamed and screeched; all fighting for the megaphone. “You don’t know what love is. Love isn’t jealous, love isn’t spiteful, and love isn’t cruel. Love does not kill but if you truly, with your meaning of love, believe that you do love me then crumble before me. Let me take the crown and you can wear the collar of submission and be my bitch.”
Despair etched on his face, he was almost ready to give up, and he pulled at his hair, begging. “Why are you doing this?”
I stood up, a roguish smile tugged at my lips and I embraced him, whispering, “Because I love you, too.” And kissed him.
+ + +
We’re a bunch of misfits, a disorganised group of nonconformists, neither villains nor superheroes; from Phoebe and her pot-mouth and purple lips, to the childish Hans with his ashy-white hair and innocent eyes, to Ajax; his dark, brooding looks, his hand that was always twitching to his sword, to Darius, tall as a giant, the father of the group, and finally, Orion, a slave to his master; myself. Oil sizzled in the pan, the eggshell cracked and yolk exploded out of it, splashing the apron Hans wore. The window was cracked open, the almost obscured sun glanced down at her face, the smoke wafted out into the air and Phoebe sucked on her cigarette, perched on the worktop. The headline screamed ‘MAYOR URGES SAFETY ADMIST TERROR AS MORE FOUND MURDERED’, Darius shuffled the paper, a frown on his lips, his t-shirt stretching over his tensed shoulders. Ever the observer, his gaze raised to mine; inexplicable and veiled emotions stared back at me, his hand paused from where he had been wiping down his sword and Ajax, after a passing moment, resumed cleaning. Absent, I pulled his presence from memory; lean and muscular, dirty blonde hair, stormy eyes, and a love story that was as toxic as the apple from the Garden of Eden.
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BEAUTIFUL MONSTER
Humor"It was then my mother was set on fire." When Beatrice stumbles upon a crazed man in the forest she barely gets away with her life. Unable to convince anyone of his presence, she tries not to go anywhere near him again but that seems impossible whe...
