Through Her Eyes ✔

83. ANSWER

"Let's go back now." Jimin gingerly pecks her cheek and hold her hands firmly, as if afraid that she would tumble and be lost. But never fret. She won't. Not now. If ever... then she'll try to find her way towards them. She wants to stay.

She had lived alone for years. However, now, she couldn't imagine anymore a life without him and the rest of her seven. Whatever happens, she will do her best to be with them forever.

"I was angry." He confesses as they slowly walk. Their hands swinging. Their steps faltering, not wanting to go home yet.

"Hmn?" She hums the question and stops. Her eyes wide. If he had said it a while ago, when she was bleeding with confusion and guilt, then she would be badly hurt and would have been running away. She would have distanced herself now, depriving herself to listen to their inviolate attention. However, the gentle way he says it only means that he had been vulnerable too and she has to know. Her Jimin was angry and she made it so.

"I was angry to whoever or whatever that planted that to your thoughts." His eyes downcast to her fingers. "I was angry to myself for letting you think that."

"Jimin... the fault is all mine." Her eyes start to wet. Of all the things to angry about. He was not angry to her. Her knight is angry only for the monster that was hurting her. He was angry for failing on protecting her with its fangs and its foul breath of darkness.

"I refuse to believe that, because I can't remember you being sad before that photoshoot." Jimin confesses more.

'Ohhh...' Yes. She had heard someone casually commenting how the room had been crowded. She had remembered the side eyes of some of the staffs and the hush murmurs of asking who she was, though her seven had introduced her to them with full off love and pride. But she never took it at heart. Or did she? Didn't she stood at the sides and slowly retreated to the corners and eventually went out to make more space? Didn't she just wait at the entrance as she came back, afraid to take back her seat which was already overflowing with all the staff's things? She didn't go inside and instead asked to visit a gallery. With that, her thoughts started spiraling to the depth of her own silent despair.

"See... I knew it." His eyes squint in suspicion.

"Whatever happened, it was my thoughts that had conjured such things." She purses her lips. "I'm sorry." She whispers as she tries to hold his gaze. However, his orbs are remained downcast.

"No. It's not your fault to think such things... I had thoughts like that too... those are never healthy." He murmurs.

"You did?" He gasps. That is something so unbelievable. Her Jiminie has always been positive. There was no way he had been so weak just like her.

"Being an idol presages perfection." He begins to share. "The expectations had poisoned my mind. It made me feel ugly. It made me worthless." He looks up and she sees the oceans angry with the memory. It's waves thrashing but no longer harming.

"Jiminie..." She helplessly sighs to his words. She holds on to his arms as his darkness is akin to hers. It's the very thing that makes her suffer. A constant thorn that she couldn't seem to let go. It is still prickling her. She can feel it. But at least, right now, it has been blunt with the love of Jimin.

"I felt unfit to be an artist. I felt that my skill was nothing if I was hideous that I thought I was. It made me do bad things just to feel the perfection and had swerve to my goal." Jimin continues.