Touch

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I ache to feel skin.
As I lie alone I imagine arms around me.
In my dreams I feel your soft lips kiss my hair.
In my mind I hear the voice that pleads to be held,
The voice of a child, scared and alone.

Showering helps, the soft, hot water is soothing.
I close my eyes and imagine you hear, holding me,
Telling me everything will be alright.
At the end of the day it's just water.
It's not the same.

I never understood the importance of touch.
Not until I couldn't have it.
Till I craved it like a cigarette.
Till I ached for it like food.
Till I gasped for it like water.

I wouldn't take much to soothe me,
A firm but gentle hand that rests on mine,
The slow rub of a thumb ,
The warmth against the warmth of myself,
The breath of a body that's not my own.

In my imagination you pull me close,
I rest my head on your chest,
Your skin warm against my cheek,
Your arms strong against my back.
But in the end, dreaming makes me feel more alone.

'Touch seems to be as essential as sunlight' Diane Ackerman


AN: this is about what it's like to be touch starved. This poem is very meaningful to me as touch starvation is something I experienced as a child when I was sent to live in another country and I did not speak the language well and my family weren't able to move with me. I don't think I hugged or even really touched anyone for probably about 6 months and I remember the amount I longed for it being almost physically painful and it lead to my mental health seriously deteriorating. The message is essentially hug your friends, hug your family (especially your children if you have any), pat the sad looking person on the back even if you don't rlly know them. Just be affectionate it's the most important thing.

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