Chapter 66 - Heartbroken Heroes

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Levi

"I don't know if we can bring him back with us."
Hange's voice snapped Levi from the thoughts that were threatening to drag him under. They were sat atop Wall Maria, waiting for it to get dark enough to make the journey home.
"Anya will want to do it," he replied dully. "She won't leave otherwise."
"Hmm." Hange sighed, no doubt suffocated by sorrow. "We'll do our best."
"What do I tell them?" He looked past her to where the brats sat talking further along the wall. "There's a risk that she's going to explode."
Hange frowned.
"At them?"
He nodded.
"Yeah. She heard them begging me to save Armin. Not once did anyone, other than that Floch kid, try to save Erwin. I think she's pissed. Really pissed."
"Do you think that's why she's not talking?"
"Partly. I think she knows that what she's feeling...isn't justified. She doesn't want to hurt anyone but, if she opens her mouth, she might not be able to hold everything back. She's choosing to stay silent, either consciously or subconsciously, for that reason."
Hange tilted her head.
"That sounds more than feasible. I'd hoped that the discovery in the basement might've had an effect on her, but...apparently not."
Hange was right; other than a few tears, Anya had barely reacted to what they'd found. It just wasn't like her. She'd made no attempt to read any of the three books they'd retrieved from Doctor Jaeger's desk whatsoever. Levi got up.
"I'd better warn them, and they're bound to have questions."
"Want me to come?" Hange asked, making as if to follow.
"No, it's fine. I can handle a few kids."
Despite his apparent confidence, as he approached them all and they turned to look at him, suddenly he wasn't so sure.
"We're going to get moving soon," he told them. "So get ready."
"Um...Captain Levi..." said Armin.
"Yeah?"
"Where's Captain Anya?"
He saw nothing but concern and guilt in the kid's eyes, and he had to remind himself that it wasn't his fault. He glanced at the houses below.
"She's in the town. Resting."
"Is she...okay?"
Levi paused.
"No," he admitted. "Not right now. She's grieving."
Armin hung his head.
"This is all my fault. If Commander Erwin had been saved, Captain An-"
"Hey. What did I tell you about not regretting my decision?"
"R-Right."
"Is there anything we can do?" Jean asked.
"The best thing to do right now...is stay away from her."
They looked startled and confused. All of them except Mikasa, whose broken nose had started to bruise. No, instead her eyes narrowed. She knew. She knew that Anya could snap. She herself had been on the receiving end of it.
"Get ready," Levi repeated.
He zipped from the wall to go and fetch Anya, escaping any further questions.

***

Hange

Hange watched as Levi disappeared into Shiganshina. Although he'd spoken to Eren and the others, she wasn't sure how well he'd managed to explain things, such was his grief.
"The thing you have to understand," she said, walking over, "is that Anya and Erwin... They've been virtually inseparable since they were children. Anya's father was murdered in front of her when she was seven, and that was the day they met. They went through a lot together and they never stopped looking out for one another. And it's the same for Levi; Erwin changed his life, freeing him from the Underground and becoming his best friend. They've both lost one of the most important people in their lives today."
For a moment, none of them spoke, and Hange wondered if she'd upset them all to the point that they didn't know what to say. But as she peered at them, she saw the tears in their eyes. Armin openly wept, and Eren put an arm around his friend.
"Captain Anya must hate me," he choked.
"No," said Hange, "she doesn't. But it's going to take her a while to get her thoughts and feelings straight. That's why Levi has told you all to leave her be for now. She hasn't spoken to either of us since...since Erwin died. It could be some time before she speaks again."
She froze, her mouth falling open, as Anya and Levi zipped up to the wall. Between them, they carried Erwin's body. Without looking at any of them they walked the short distance across the wall, before deploying their ODM gear to reach the ground and the remaining horses.
The journey home was going to be a long one.

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