Chapter 25 - Cleanse

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Anastasya

Anya watched as the expressions of the guards in the corridor morphed from boredom to relief to total confusion.
"The Commander...is awake?" one asked.
"Yes," she replied flatly.
She knew that she looked and sounded anything but pleased, despite how she truly felt on the inside. The men glanced at one another, and then the younger of the two dashed off to fetch a doctor, practically skipping as he went. Anya, meanwhile, shuffled back to her room, avoiding any further conversation, before closing the door firmly behind her. She'd taken no more than three steps into the glum interior when she surrendered to her sorrow, letting the tears roll freely down her cheeks. Once she started, she was unable to stop, and she gasped and staggered over to the bed, clutching her ribs. She had no idea how much time passed in her watery turmoil, but she was still weeping when Levi returned.
"I couldn't get hold of any food, but I brought cleaning- Hey, what's going on?" he asked, hurrying over to where she now lie on her side in the bed.
She knew that she was covered in tears and snot and most probably had a beet-red face, but in that moment, she couldn't care less. Each sob that racked her body brought unimaginable pain to her ribs, and her head was beginning to throb along with her pulse.
"Hey, hey, hey," he said, crouching on the floor so that she had no choice but to look at him. He placed a hand on her arm. "Cut that out already. You'll be making your injuries worse."
She met his gaze and saw the confusion and worry written there, and slowly but surely, she began to calm down. She knew that Levi sensed the change in her and so he pulled a handkerchief from his pocket, passing it over. He then straightened up and sat next to her bed, waiting somewhat impatiently for an explanation. Beside him on the floor were a broom, a dustpan and brush, and several cleaning cloths, abandoned and forgotten, at least for the time being.
"So, are you going to tell me?" he asked, arms folded.
She sniffled, sitting up again.
"What?"
"Why were you crying like that?"
"I'm emotional."
"No shit," he said.
"It's nothing. I'm fine. Just...feeling sorry for myself."
"You're also a terrifically bad liar. I've never been able to figure out how the hell you manage to spy on people without getting caught and giving everything away."
"N-no I'm not!"
"Oh? You can't even convince yourself." He sighed. "Spit it out."
"I went to see Erwin," she confessed.
Levi's eyes widened and he leant closer, unfolding his arms.
"Did something happen? Is he...?"
"He woke up," she said quickly. "He's all right."
He relaxed, his usual apathetic expression returning as he processed the information.
"Thank god," he muttered, briefly closing his eyes. "So why were you crying?"
She shifted awkwardly, trying to avoid his gaze. She knew that the truth would just make him angry, but Levi was right; when it came to those she cared about, she couldn't lie to them at all.
"It's true, what I said about feeling sorry for myself, but... Erwin told me that what I did... He said that saving him was reckless and irresponsible and that I'm lucky not to be facing disciplinary action."
Levi narrowed his eyes and tsked.
"That damned idiot."
He got to his feet, but she grabbed one of his hands.
"Don't! You know why he said all of that stuff, don't you?"
Levi wasn't stupid, and more often than not, he and Erwin were surprisingly similar. He had to realise, just like she did, that Erwin had spoken out of fear and shock. Levi paused and nodded, ever so slightly, and then lowered himself down into the chair again.
"Even so, he should have been thanking you rather than talking to you like you're some damn recruit, especially considering how you did risk your life to save his. I'll be sure to remind him of that later."
"Please don't," she said. "He's hurting right now. He needs time."
"What about you?"
"I haven't lost one of my arms."
"You go too easy on him," he grumbled, though he chose to say no more on the matter. She knew that beneath his ire, Levi was unbelievably thankful that their friend had woken up, and he decided to busy himself with cleaning.
"You really don't have to," she said, watching as he tied a cloth around his head to keep his hair clean and out of his face. "Hopefully I'll be out of here in a day or two."
"Anya, how can you be happy in this filthy room?" he grumbled, cleaning the windowsills.
"Dust hasn't really been at the top of my list of concerns, considering everything else... You worry about it enough for the both of us, anyway."
"It won't be doing you any good."
"You're probably right. Hey, why aren't I in my old room?"
"It was easier to move you here, rather than carrying you upstairs."
"So... It wasn't given to anyone else?"
"No," he replied, glancing up from where he was sweeping the floor. "Even though Erwin moved your things out of it, it was never re-assigned."
"Good. I've always liked it."
"You kicked up enough of a fuss to get it."
A small smile tugged at her lips as she remembered fighting off all of the others who had wanted the room, too.
"I did," she agreed. "It has the best views."
"And yet," he said, opening a window, "you're usually in my room."
"I find your room has a pretty fantastic view, too..."
"Idiot," he replied, smirking as he shook his head.
She grinned and let him clean in peace, though it wasn't long before he was finished.
"Much better," he said, removing his head covering.
"Thank you," she told him. "Now come sit with me."
He tidied away the cleaning supplies and did as she asked, before gesturing to the bottle of ointment on her bedside table.
"You should apply that to your face to help with the scalding."
"Do it for me?"
"Tch. It's not as though I haven't been doing it several times a day since you got back."
He undid the bottle and with the gentlest of touches, applied the gel-like substance with cool fingertips, tracing along the sharp slope of her nose and brushing across her cheekbones. She shivered when he reached her jaw, and the corner of his mouth twisted up.
"Levi..."
"Mm?"
They both froze as Hange burst into the room, glasses slightly askew.
"Oh! I hope I'm not interrupting!"
"You are," Levi said, unable to keep the irritation from his voice.
Anya rolled her eyes at him and patted the bed.
"No you're not," she said. "Come sit."
Hange perched on the mattress and handed her a potato filled with cheese.
"My hero," she told her. "Thanks."
"You're welcome," she smiled.
"You're going to get food all over the sheets," Levi sighed.
Anya ignored him and took a bite.
"Erwin is awake," she mumbled through the potato.
"I heard," Hange replied. "I've just been in to see him. He's approved of the special operations squad, as well as the plan to start experiments with Eren. He seems to be doing okay, considering what happened."
"Yeah, he does," Levi replied, scowling.
Hange looked between Anya and Levi, quizzical, but Anya quickly changed the topic.
"We'll have to hold a service for everyone we lost," she said, sighing.
"Don't worry about that for now," Levi said. "Someone else will organise it."
"I like doing it."
"If the murmurings about the government are true, I'm afraid most, if not all of your time, is going to be taken up with protecting Eren and Historia," Hange warned.
"Oh? Do tell."
Hange went through all of the information she'd managed to come by in the last few days, and would have gone on for many hours more had Anya been able to disguise her fatigue. As soon as she yawned, Levi got to his feet.
"Do you want me to stay here tonight?" he asked.
"No, it's okay. You need to go and sleep in a proper bed," Anya replied, though she wanted nothing more than to have him with her.
He hesitated, frowning.
"You sure?"
"Yeah. Just make sure you come back early tomorrow before you go to the cabin."
Hange stood up and stretched.
"I guess that's my cue. I'll be back tomorrow, too."
"I should hope so."
"You need anything?" Levi asked.
"No, I'm all right. Get some rest."
"You, too."
He leant down and kissed her, and she realised how good it was to feel his lips on hers again.
"Good night," he murmured.
"Night. Night, Hange," she said.
"Night!"
Hange waved and left with Levi, who gave Anya one last, lingering look before closing the door behind him.

***

Levi

Levi stopped in the corridor, causing Hange to turn back when she realised that he wasn't following her.
"Huh?"
"I haven't spoken to Erwin yet," he said.
"Ah, okay. See you tomorrow, then. And...go easy on him, Levi."
His frown deepened as he strode to Erwin's room. He paused outside the door for a moment, before lightly knocking on the wood.
"Come in."
Erwin sounded weak and jaded, and he found his friend to be sitting up in bed, a troubled expression plaguing his features. He looked like shit, and Levi told him as much as he sat down.
"I've felt better. How's Anastasya?"
"Hurt," he replied tersely. "No thanks to you."
He knew that it was a low blow, and he saw the guilt flicker across Erwin's face, but he was angry.
"Levi."
"Ah, maybe you mean after you upset her this afternoon?"
Erwin dropped his icy gaze to his lap for a moment, and Levi continued.
"Erwin; why the hell did you let her go with you in the first place? Why didn't you force her to stay on the wall?"
"She insisted," he replied quietly. "You know how she can be."
"And? You're the damn Commander. You could have stopped her."
Erwin nodded.
"I know."
His admission stunned Levi into silence as he searched for a response.
"Why? Why didn't you stop her?"
"Don't think I didn't try. However, you and I both know she's one of the best. When she told me she could handle it, I believed she could. She did, in fact. Without her, I'd be dead. She directly defied my orders to rescue me."
"And by way of thanks, you scolded her like she's some stupid brat, despite the fact that you're precisely why she's so injured."
Erwin bowed his head, his thick eyebrows knit together.
"Yes. I... wanted to make her angry so that she wouldn't put herself at risk for me again in the future."
"Shit, you can be stupid sometimes. You know she'll never stop trying to save us all, no matter what any of us say."
Erwin managed a small smile.
"In a way, I'm glad."
"Make sure you tell her that. She knows that you didn't mean what you said, but it still hurt. She cried."
"I heard."
"Tch. How are you feeling?"
"Not great."
"It's going to take some getting used to," he said, nodding to where Erwin's arm should be.
"Yes. I keep waking up and forgetting it's gone, just for a second or two."
"Next time don't go trying to play the hero."
He shook his head and got up, realising that Erwin was struggling to stay awake.
"I should go. I have a few more preparations to make before leaving for the cabin tomorrow; Hange told us that she filled you in. I'll be back in the morning."
"She did. Levi... Thank you for coming to see me."
Levi was surprised to hear him say it, and now that his anger had more or less dissipated, he realised that his friend was truly suffering.
"You don't need to thank me, idiot. Just...recover quickly."
"Good night, Levi."
"'Night."

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