Lost boy

Chapter nine

Link's Pov
Me and Nate sat cuddled together on the loveseat with Freya to my left. We all fell asleep in a pile together.

It was something we often did and we all slept better this way and we were all comfortable with it.

When we woke up everyone else was still asleep so me and Nate decided to go and watch the sunrise from the deck.

Me and Nate hadn't been together for a long time for obvious reasons but it would never interfere with our relationship.

There was an everlasting pressure on my chest but instead of being my sister or boyfriend there was nothing there or thats what I thought. So I ignored the pain.

Well I tried to but the breathlessness got worse. I sat there trying to breathe properly it was getting harder each second.

Shit.

I have had my binder on for too many days but the second I take it off I no longer want to exist the crippling gender disphoria seeps in.

I have my hoodie that helps but majority of my hoodies are in the wash.

Nate would probably have one but he had fallen asleep while we were watching the sunrise.

I needed to get help but everyone is asleep or so i thought.

I tried to walk to the bathroom but on the way Marcus caught me.

He stopped me instantly. "Turn around, Now are you okay if I remove your binder here is one of my hoodies and there are no mirrors." I nodded as I removed my tshirt.

I cried while he helped me remove my binder. I am not sure if it was out of relief or stress.

I was out of it for a while there was no noise well there never was but now there wasn't even the faint hum of the home.

You see I am deaf always have been well actually from when I was in a motorcycle crash when I was fifteen.

No one knows because I am amazing at lip reading and since I was able to talk before the crash my speech was never effected except the fact that I struggle with my tone.

I have some cheap invisible hearing aids but given I can't even pick up the sounds of the house I think my hearing aids have died.

I was hospitalized after my crash for a long time and my life changed after coming home mum was high more often Freya was only fourteen and all her friends had started to bully her because she was different.

Freya had selective mutism and struggled with social anxiety until she was twelve she got better when I introduced her to my friends and she slowly started to talk to everyone again but she still struggles with social anxiety.

I relied on my other senses due to my hearing aids dying. However my body had other ideas and focused on the feeling of my cast and my brace on my acl.

I would have to go out with someone or sneak out to go and get a better fitted hearing aid or to get my current ones fixed.

Since Marcus had gone back to sleep I decided now was my best chance and headed into town with two thousand dollars which I had made while busking.

I managed to get new hearing aids but not without my eldest brother being able to access my medical records.

I raced against the sunrise home.

As I walked into the kitchen there stood all my brothers in an attempt to make me feel trapped they had blocked every exit.

What they didn't expect is for me to barely hear them due to not having my hearing aids turned on.

I in the end just walked past them.

I was sitting on my bed messing around with the hearing aids debating if I wanted anyone to know because these were a lot more noticeable than my last pair.

My last pair also only cost me four hundred dollars because I knew the person who was selling them and he knew I would never have the real amount of money for them.

As I sat there messing with my hearing aids debating whether to put them in or just leave them.

After staring at them for long enough I decided it was now or never.

I tried my best to ignore how I felt about hearing every little crinkle.

I felt the prickles of anxiety crawl up my neck, then I was back there at the crash.

I could feel the heat of the engine burning up my body, my ears were ringing as tear stung my eyes.

I remained motionless until Freya walked past me, she tried everything to get a response from me. She tried for a good half hour before going to get the others.

In the end it was Trent who managed to break me from my trance.

He took me into his room once I was out of my trance. He sat me down to talk to me.

"Hey Link, can you tell me what is going on in head right now please." He asked.

"It's all too much. I can feel everything from that day the sound of everything so loud I can't do it. I can't do it." I just kept repeating myself in the end.

Trent came to sit beside me he pulled me into a hug.

"Link, what is too much?" He asked cautiously.

"The noises." I said blankly.

"What do you mean?" He asked confused.

"My hearing aids died this morning so I got new and better ones than my last and everything is so loud and it all has noises which I am not used to." I explained as best I could.

"Link why does no one know about you having hearing aids?" He asked almost as if he was scared to know the answer.

"It happened at a bad time so I kept it a secret." I said quietly.