Tw transphobia, abuse, trauma and mention of medical treatment
Link is a trans guy but he finds out that his mum is dead and he has to navigate his way through life with his brothers who still think he is Lily
Link's Pov I was eating just looking around when I noticed the sour look on Carmen's face and you could almost see the cogs in his head turning like he was trying to figure us out. Mainly me he was looking at me he was probably trying to figure out why I always wear long sleeves to be honest I have hidden burn scars, tattoos and a makeshift binder.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
My tattoos are pretty new I got them on my seventeenth birthday, Nate's old stepdad is a tattoo artist and he did them for me with me paying him of course. I know how angry Freya will be the second she realizes that I using ace bandages to bind but mum burnt my binder when I was at home and I am aware that it's not safe but for me this is better than the alternative.
I was eating breakfast with everyone when I noticed Freya and Carmen staring at me because I was eating with the wrong hand to be completely honest I think I have had the ace bandages on for too long and my ribs are starting to pay for it.
"Link are you ok you look like you're in pain?" Carmen said.
"I am fine thank you for being concerned though." I said causing Freya to send me a look.
"We are finished thanks boys me and Link are just going to talk for a minute." Freya said dragging me to the living room.
Freya's Pov
We were all eating breakfast when I noticed Link seemingly struggling to breathe and eat.
Then I realised mum burnt his binder. That shit had been using ace bandages for three days and knowing him he won't have taken them off.
"Take them off Link. You can barely breathe or eat this is not healthy." I said.
"As I said to Carmen I am perfectly fine." Link told me.
"No you're not. You might not see but I do if you don't start taking care of yourself when you bind you are going to do some serious damage." I yelled which was probably my worst idea as all of our brothers were now stood in the doorway.
"I am fine it's my body I know when I have pushed it too far." Link told me calmly that is one thing Link is always good at staying calm during arguments.
"Take the bloody thing off. Please for me if not for yourself do it for me." I said on the verge of tears last time this happened he had to be rushed to the hospital because he couldn't breathe properly.
He looked at me with tearful eyes but still didn't remove the bandages.
"What makes you do this to yourself." I yelled not thinking.
"The second I take it off I am not a real boy. I am just a girl who dresses up like a boy with a boys hair cut. The second I stop making people believe I am a boy is the second I become fucking Lily the girl that has always been different the girls who thinks she can be a boy. Lily the girl who wants the impossible and it makes me fucking hate myself all over again and we know how well that went don't we Freya I tried to overdose and mom left me for dead and you had to get me to the hospital. People will see me just like mom did I will be a girl playing fucking dress up not a boy like I always have been. So do I care about risking my life this way. No. Because this is better than actually trying to kill myself again. But this time is different instead of just you needing me I five fucking brothers who unlike mom actually love me and I feel like shit for doing this but I don't want to go back to the way I was two years ago when mom found out I was binding and she burnt them, but she burnt my new ones before she died so now it's ace bandages until I have the balls to ask one of our brothers to order me a binder because as well as burning my binders she fucking cut my credit card. Now normally Nate would help me but he is in Salem with all of our other family and then if Nate wouldn't help me Anna or Max would but guess where they are a fucking nine hour drive away and then best of all I can't fucking drive because I was stupid and was playing basketball and let it get ahead of me and I tore my acl for the third time and I just want to be normal for the first time in my life. I just wish I was born normal with a real mom one who would be there for me when I came out to her instead of being kicked out of the house for the week until she got high and let me in to sleep instead of sleeping on the porch like I had been. I was put on antidepressants when I was six but they won't be able to get me on testosterone until I am mentally stable which probably won't happen for a while because our mom was an abusive piece of shit. She forgot to raise you so you used to call me mom when I was three you started calling me dad because I knew I was different at two but mom didn't she would always make me wear girl's clothes around her because she couldn't have her daughter dressed like one of them weirdos. The thing was I was never her daughter I had always been her son she just failed to notice it. I never had to come out to you because you always called me Link or dad and that makes me so proud because I raised you to ask for people's pronouns I remember going to one of your parent teacher conferences and a teacher kept congratulating mom on her raising of kids but I felt so angry and wanted to tell her how I raised both of us because our mom was too busy trying to get her fix. I have and always will love you I wish I could have raised you better instead of having a code with you so you would hide so mom wouldn't beat the shit out of both of us just me. I remember the day you were born mom just tossed you aside said we're a reminder of her failed marriage and she was going to name you Failure but my two year old ass took the birth certificate and wrote your real name Freya on it and I hid it somewhere no one would find because mom would have killed me if she'd found out. I am not taking the bloody binder off because I don't want my life to go to the way it used to be. Being misgendered by everyone and feeling like shit 24/7 not my cup of tea surprisingly." He said perfectly calm just letting his tears flow.
