A Vampire's Rotten Heart

The Eyes

I needed a break. I was far enough away, wasn't I? I was in the middle of the woods. He wouldn't find me here.

I slumped over into the snow and placed Spud in my lap. God, he was so small... He must've been freezing! I cupped his whole body in my hands. I knew I didn't have any warmth left, but it would at least trap Spud's own heat.

    I eyed the frozen lake before me. "Let's get you something to eat."

    "Mew!"

    I stood up, walked to the edge of the lake, and broke the ice with a well-placed kick. Being able to make a hole that big with that little effort? That felt powerful.

    I sat at the edge of the water. Spud caught a glimpse of a char, and he started waving his little paws at it. I held him tighter.

    "No! That water's freezing cold! You'd die if you fell in there, and then I'd never forgive myself!"

    I paused for a moment. My mind went back to Auntie McAllister. I thought I was over that. That's just what vampires do, isn't it?

    I sat there, motionless. I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that I killed someone.

    I remembered the time she taught me and my brothers to play checkers when I was six. I couldn't understand why you had to move diagonally, so we ended up making our own version of the game that didn't quite work.

    She wasn't a bad woman at all. She probably saved her money for quite some time to buy that chessboard and those game pieces. All for us. All for me.

    So why did I take her away?

    And what about Pete and Maywell? If I had just listened to what they told me to do, they would be alive and well. I'd probably be on a train to Mitford.

    I opened up my hands to reveal Spud. I could hear his tiny, fluttering heartbeat. What if he was next? He was so small... I could pop him in my mouth and swallow him whole if I really wanted to.

    I patted his head and tried to compose myself.

    "It's okay, Spud. I'd never do that to you."

"Mew?"

"Now, let's catch that fish."

"Mew!"

I sat at the edge of the water, and that's when I saw it. My face.

I immediately understood why I had to keep my eyes closed. They had been reduced to tiny pinpricks, bounds of red light spilling out of them. No iris, no sclera. Just a glowing, red torch.

The water was still, and my reflection spared no expenses. My lips had thinned considerably. My mouth was stretched from one ear to the next, frozen into a permanent grin, filled to the brim with teeth that were too small and too sharp.

I tried to force the corners of my mouth down into a more neutral expression, but the muscles strained. I pushed and pushed until it hurt like hell, but there was only a minuscule change.

I was stuck like that.

    Tears welled up in my eyes, but my mouth was still contorted into a twisted smile.

    I wiped my tears and tried to suck it up. I had a hungry kitten to feed.

I looked into the lake once more, trying to see past my reflection. My hands were busy holding Spud, so I decided to use a wing to make the catch.

I held my wing over the water, thinking that I'd be able to spear a fish with the claw on my thumb.

    But I couldn't tear myself away from my appearance. My eyes especially. They almost seemed hypnotic in the stillness of the water.

   "Looks like we have the next Narcissus."

I jumped and clutched Spud to my chest. I was so lost in my reflection, I hadn't noticed the woman sitting next to me, draped in orange with a turquoise blouse-like garment underneath. Surely she was cold in that—

    She had long, black hair, that cascaded down her chestnut skin. There was a fishing net attached to her back.

She was small. Though that may have had more to do with me.

"...Which is weird. Because you're ugly. I'm calling you ugly."

    Before I had the chance to reply, she went on again.

    "Maybe I could see it from the back. But I certainly wouldn't be focusing on the face."

    At least she wasn't scared of me.

    She grabbed a spade from her pocket and used it to break another hole in the ice, then grabbed her net.

    "Whatcha smilin' about, eh?"

    I could immediately feel the fire raging in my heart. I once again tried to force the corners of my mouth down, but all it did was strain and hurt. It was as hopeless as trying to bend your knees the other way.

    I wanted to scream.

"Woah, woah, woah! Calm down! I'm sorry I called you ugly!"

    I sighed.

    She laughed.

"That's a cute cat you've got there," she said, diverting her attention away from my face, "Isn't he cold?"

    "Aren't you?"

    "Magic."

    "Well, I suppose he is... We've been trying our best out here."

    "Well we can't let that happen, can we? How about I take him home? You can come too, I guess."

     "...Sure."

It was either this or living in the wilderness.

"Wait. One second." I pulled the list of names out of my pocket. "What's your name?"

"Estrella Crow. Nice to meet your acquaintance."

I scanned through the list and gave a sigh of relief.

"Estrella Crow
Spinster
An average woman; has a quiet house
Expects payment"