drabbles | meddison

four.

Finally - Drabble #4

"So.. how's the couples' therapy going?" Meredith tries to start a conversation.

Meredith and Addison have been having this thing for a few months now, where they get on in an on-call room just to chat about their daily rants and snuggle afterwards.

After Meredith drowned, Addison opened out about how she felt for Meredith. The blonde did say the same thing about her when she fell in love with Addison. It's a practice of Addison's to page Meredith to the nearest on-call room and just lay next to her after exhausting surgeries and a long day.

While Derek was still determined to win Addison, he left Meredith behind. Both of the women simply chuckle at the concept that the same man with whom Meredith had an affair is also Addison's husband, and that they are now both together. No other situation is as complicated as that.

Addison just sighed. The redhead takes off her coat, hangs it on the rack at the back of the door before she lazily lays on the lower deck, "I.. I really don't wanna talk about it, Meredith."

"But please lay with me. Here," Addison makes room for Meredith.

The blonde didn't say anything but just chose to lay next to Addison.

"What are we? Comfort buddies?" jokes Meredith. She lets out a forced laugh but deep inside she's hurting.

She thinks that both 'Shepherds' are just using her to they can get over whatever the troubled couple is going through. Derek ended his relationship with Meredith after Addison returned to Seattle, and she moved on. She moved on, but she ended up falling in love with her ex-boyfriend's wife.

At first, it was all fun and butterflies, but when Addison admitted to having the same feelings for her, it wasn't the same. Cuddles, talks, and comfort were all nice, but what was she to her?

"Meredith. I like you, you know that right?" reassures Addison as she softly plays with Meredith's hair.

"Right," Meredith sighs in defeat.

'What are we?' is the question that Meredith asks Addison on a daily basis. The blonde asks it casually, hoping not to irritate Addison. Cristina was aware of their thing, and as usual, Cristina says the most real and honest consequences to her.

They almost fought about it, but Cristina understands that her person needs her more than Meredith needs Addison. She knows that anytime Addison can hurt Meredith, and as a caring friend, she vows to catch Meredith openly in her arms till she's fine to pretend she's fine again.

"What if she goes back to McDreamy? Meredith, they are married. Married, with rings, and papers, and commitment, and marriage that I'm surprised they're even trying to rekindle. I am your person and I am on your side, but this— this isn't right, Mer. This hurts you even if she says she likes you, it hurts you."

Addison notices Meredith overthinking again so she kisses the blonde's temple. Addison traces Meredith's freckles from her forehead down to her chin. She is more than pretty, more than beautiful, and she is vulnerable.

The blonde sighs as she pulls Addison closer to her, now, Addison knows Meredith had calmed down a bit. Forming little shapes on her back with her fingers, she thinks— she knows Meredith clings to her for more than attention, for more than cuddles, for more than hiding in an on-call room. But with Derek— it's marriage, and almost 11 years of almost everything. With Derek, she was hopeful of all almost's, and never did once Derek tried to fill those up.

Addison recalls the moment where Derek finds her and Mark sleeping together. It was painful. She wanted to defend herself from a situation that she knows she can't escape.