so bad guys can't see me bleed

•tape twenty-nine•

"Come on, I feel like I'm the only one eating here," Bruce says. "Try some of that. Have some eggs."

Scott and I share a glance. "I am so confused," Scott says.

"This is weird, right?" I ask Nat, pointing to Bruce, who is Bruce but inside Hulk's body.

"These are confusing times," Bruce says, chuckling.

"Right, no, no," Scott says, shaking his head. "That's not what I mean."

"Nah," Bruce chuckles, "I get it. I'm kidding! I know, it's crazy. I'm wearing shirts now."

"Yeah. What? How? Why?"

Bruce wipes his face off with a napkin. "Five years ago, we got our asses beat. Except it was worse for me, 'cause I lost twice. First Hulk lost, then Banner lost, and then we all lost."

"No one blamed you, Bruce," Nat says.

"I did," he says. "For years I've been treating the Hulk like he's some kind of disease, something to get rid of. But then I started looking at him as the cure. Eighteen months in the gamma lab. I put the brains and the brawn together and now look at me. Best of both worlds."

"Excuse me, Mr. Hulk?" a girl says next to two other kids as they stop next to Bruce.

"Yes?" Bruce says, turning to them.

"Can we—can we get a photo?"

"100 percent, little person," he says, taking the phone from the girl. "Come on, step on up." He hands the phone to me. "Do you mind?"

I shake my head and grab the phone, glancing at Nat.

"Thanks," he says as I move backwards and hit Scott on accident. We both mumble a sorry to each other. "Say 'green,'" Bruce says.

"Green," the kids say at the same time, and I snap a few pictures before handing the phone back to the girl.

"Do you want to get a picture with me?" Scott asks them, earning weird looks. "I'm Ant Man." I cover my mouth and try not to laugh. Scott shakes his head. "They're Hulk fans. They don't know Ant Man. It's fine. Nobody does."

Him and Bruce start talking over each other. "Jesus," I mumble, getting out of the booth. "I'm going to get some Aspirin from the drug store across the street. I'll be back."

I walk out of the diner and across the street to the drug store. I grab a bottle and walk up to the register before paying for it. I walk back to the diner and hop over the back and down in my spot again.

I open the bottle and take a couple, taking Cap's water from him to help swallow the pills. "So, we on?"

—

"Scott, fire up the, uh, the van thing," Bruce says in the Avengers' compound. Scott goes over to the van and the machine on the inside starts up.

"Breakers are set," Cap says, walking over to Nat and me. "Emergency generators are on standby.

"Good," Bruce says, "because if we blow the grid, I don't want to lose, uh, Tiny here in the 1950s."

"Excuse me?"

"He's kidding," Nat says, smiling. She looks over at Bruce. "You can't say things like that."

"Just—it—was—just—it was a bad joke," Bruce says to Scott.

"You were kidding, right?" Nat asks him when Scott walks back to the van.

"I have no idea," Bruce whispers. "We're talking about time travel here. Either it's all a joke, or none of it is." He turns to Scott and gives him a thumbs up. "We're good! Get your helmet on. Scott, I'm gonna send you back a week, walk around for an hour, then bring you back in 10 seconds. Make sense?"

Scott waves him off. "Perfectly not confusing," he says.

"Good luck, Scott," Cap says. "You got this."

"You're right," Scott says, nodding with a smile. "I do, Captain America." Then he gets zapped into the machine.

"On the count of three," Bruce says. "Three, two, one." He clicks a bunch of switches, then presses a button.

Scott comes back out, but he looks like a fifth grader. "Uh, guys? This—this doesn't feel right," he says.

"What is this?" Cap asks.

"What's going on?" Bruce asks, going to mess with the controls.

"Who is that?" Nat asks. "Is that Scott?'

"Yes, it's Scott!" Scott says, obviously offended. He gets sent back into the machine. Bruce messes with the controls some more until Scott comes back, this time looking 80 years old. "Oh, my back!"

"What is this?" Cap asks.

"Hey, Cap, it's you," I say, pointing at Scott.

Now, that's one big, steaming bowl of foreshadowing.

"Ha, ha, very funny. Do I have to bring up the age ga—"

"Zip it, asshole."

"Could I get some space here?" Bruce asks, moving the controls around.

"Yeah, yeah," Cap says, and the three of us move things around so that he has more room. "Can you bring him back?"

"I'm working on it," Bruce says, flipping switches and pressing buttons.

Scott goes back in, then comes out as a baby.

"It's a baby," Cap acknowledges.

"It's Scott!" Bruce defends.

"As a baby!" Cap says.

"He'll grow."

"Bring Scott back."

"When I say kill the power, kill the power."

"Oh my God," Nat says, walking over to the power source.

"And—kill it!"

Nat turns the handle and kills the power. Bruce hits a button, and Scott comes back again, this time in his normal state. The machine behind him powers down.

"Somebody peed my pants. But I don't know if it was baby me or old me...or just me me."

"Time travel!" Bruce says loudly, putting his arms out and smiling. Cap shakes his head and turns away. "What? I-I see this as an absolute win."

—

"Who stole my chicken nuggets out of the fridge!"

I swallow the chicken nugget in my mouth and hide the still-warm box under my chair and put my feet up on the small table in front of me.

Bruce walks over to me. "Have you seen my chicken nuggets?" he asks me

I shake my head. "Nope." He sighs and nods, walking away. Once he's far enough away, I take the chicken nuggets back out and start eating them again.