I want to start off by saying thank you. Thank you for being there for me, for always listening, for loving me even when our mother hasn't. Thank you for protecting me as much as you did, you endured so much hurt and trauma just to take care of me and even after that you still take care of me. Yes I went through some stuff but nothing to even compare to you.

I know you aren't my dad or my parent but you are the only parental figure I have. You were the only one to take care of me. You didn't care if I did something wrong or did something to hurt me, the only thing that mattered to you was that I was happy and safe.

Even now you have taken me in and have loved me unconditionally. To say I'm thankful is an understatement. until I can find something word to show my full emotions I will say thank you and I love you.

Please never change. You are so weird and funny, a bit extra at times but you are loving. You care about everyone too much and that's what makes you so great. If you give that love to your soulmates everything will be okay. I promise.

Anyway I'm going to end this because it's 4 in the morning and I'm tired. I love you some much. Merry Christmas.

Love,
Tae
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Now I'm crying. Sad. I'm sad. He is so fucking adorable.

He looks over at me and smiles at me again. I haven't seen him smile this much in a very long time, years. He was a very happy and clingy kid, always smiling. as usual, when he got/older he started to notice the bad and smiled less. Tats happens to most people but wish he could have held onto his innocence a bit longer.

I grab the present from inside the bag. The wrapping paper is red with small "merry christmas" all over it. Its basic wrapping but its cute, I like it. Its a medium sized thing, now i'm slightly curious. i unwrap the paper from the gift and i absolutely love it. Tae is definitely more artistic then me. He painted me a bunch of flowers.. i recognize it but i'm not sure where i remember it from.

Its so fucking pretty. He went into a lot of detail when painting this, It probably took awhile to paint this..

"I remember you being really into photography and you bought the camera.. You gave me the camera before you left and this was the first picture you took on the camera.. You loved it so i thought that this would be a good gift with my limited budget" He explains opening another gift. He's right. I absolutely loved that picture. I was walking around in the park right after I bought the camera so I took a picture of the first pretty thing I saw.

"I love it.. Thank you Tae" He nods in response.

we are supposed to be at the guys house at 6 so I have awhile to make deserts. Tae asked the what we could bring and all they requested were brownies so I'm going to make a bunch of brownies to distract them from being upset at me. sounds like a solid plan to me. Not really but I'm stupid so its fine.

-----

The walk to their apartment is silent. I don't think either of us know what to say. will I have a panic attack today? Maybe, maybe not. Only time will tell.

When we get to the door Tae turns to me. "Everything will be okay, Relax, have fun, don't let your anxiety get to you" He says wrapping his arm around mine. He is trying to comfort me and its slightly working, He smiles at me once more then he knocks.

I made over 4 batches of brownies.. I ended up making normal brownies, fudge brownies, peppermint brownies, and m&m brownies. i didn't bring all of them obviously, just a decent amount of each. Maybe I made to many of them.. They will probably eat all of them anyway so its no big deal. I don't know what I'm doing right now, I have no idea what is going to happen and there is a chance of them rejecting me.. even if its a slight chance there is still a chance and that terrifies me.

The door opens and there stands a very festive looking Chan. His sweater is kind of adorable to be honest. He is smiling like usual. His eyes land of Tae first but they quickly move to me. He looks slightly relived.Our eyes catch for a moment but I quickly look at something else.

"You guys came! come on in, Felix and Minho are still cooking because there were some... Malfunctions earlier.. anyway, come in!" Chan says moving over to the side, signalling for us to walk in. Tae drags me inside and Chan closes the door behind us.

The gifts I got them are hitting my side from the bag. It slightly hurts but its okay. I'm to nervous to bring that up yet so i'll keep the with me for now. Tae and I slide off our shoes and follow Chan. He takes us to the living room where everyone except Felix and Minho are. Jisung and Changbin are hitting each other for some reason while the rest of them are talking. After one too many hits Jisung taps out and pouts looking away from changbin. His eyes suddenly go to me and his posture changes.

"You're here!" He practically yells.He moves to stand up but Changbin put an arm on him, keeping him in place.

Jisung frowns and looks at Changbin, Changbin makes a tsking noise and gives him a look. "We talked about this already. No touching until he says its okay, don't overwhelm him" Changbin Tries to whisper to Jisung but fails. His whispering is kinda like normal talking.

Jisung makes an ooh sound and stills himself. Minho walks out from the kitchen and when he sees me he smiles. I smile back at him. He doesn't make any efforts to walk any closer, he just stands there and smiles.

"I'm glad you both are here however, Felix has requested y/n's help in the kitchen" Minho says looking over at the guys. Tae loosens his grip on my arm.

Tae taps my arm and pulls me down a bit to be at his level. I'm not sure how this fucker got so strong but he is not allowed to work out anymore. no more exercise for buff child, I don't think my arms will be able to handle anymore pulling from him. "Go.I'll be okay, don't do anything stupid and be good" he whispers to me

I give him a look.What the fuck am i? A child? Chan giggles and I sigh. I am so beating him up when we get home. I'll take away his paints or some shit. Worst punishment for him.

I give Tae one last dirty look before walking closer to Minho.

we both walk to the Kitchen. The kitchen isn't too messy, just a bit. Felix has a cute Christmas apron on. It has a few things smeared onto it but it looks fairly clean. He looks adorable honestly. Felix looks focused on the dish he is stirring.

"The awaited guest has arrived, now you can't scold me for moving to slow" Minho grumble pinching Felix.

Felix glares at minho and begins to say an array of English curses. He tries to say them quietly but he is failing. Apparently none of my soulmates know how to whisper, that's good to know. Felix takes a deep breath and turns and looks at me. He is smiling but he seems more irratated then happy.

Minho throws a apron at me and tells me to put it on. The apron hits my face. That makes Felix laugh.

Felix takes off his gloves and moves the bowl away from him."I missed you.. I'm sorry If I seem like I'm in a bad mood, the guys suddenly decided we- I would be making American food even though I struggle with it so Im genuinely glad you are here, for multiple reasons" Felix explains smiling at me once more.

Aww poor Lix.

"I missed you to.. Don't worry Im here to help! I use to help my neighbors cool Christmas dinner so I know how to make most Christmas dishes." I say pulling the bag from my arm and setting in on the counter. He let's out a sigh of relief.

So far so good. Hopefully it doesn't get more awkward..

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Word count: 2159
Hi! Merry late Christmas! Next chapter they will finally talk and we will see how it goes. I hope you enjoyed!

𝙰𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚡𝚒𝚊 (stray kids x male reader) Where stories live. Discover now