Book Buddies

5 - Rooftop.

At the moment, we were walking up to the rooftop - steps silent and ground still with students from various Class' silently taking peeks at us before retreating to their various sub-conversations.

But to me, it felt like all I had just said was the opposite.

Every step I took felt colossal, as if I had made the ground shift to the right at every move and action I took, and the sound of them reverberated through my eardrums and hit every point within them as if to say "you're making a mistake".

But the thing that scared me most, that most felt like I was being closed in upon were the students.

Though their glances were subtle, barely noticeable to be entirely honest, it truly felt as if they were boring holes into the back of me and were trying to subdue me to not go with him.

And yet my body acted both voluntarily and involuntarily, as I have read from books that very few movements are involuntary.

Involuntary movements include things like heart-rate, breathing, and the production of K-T cells - but voluntary movements are things like arm movements, looking from left to right, or.... punching someone....

No-Not that I'd ever do that! It's just an example!

A-anyway... even though I read about that, that would most definitely contradict what happened during that day.

Every movement I took during that day, when that event happened was with absolute involuntary movements - which were controlled by my already present feelings.

So perhaps feelings took place in voluntary movements and made them involuntary?

But then why am I following Ayanokouji-kun if all I feel is fear, worry, scared, and extremely sad?

Is it also because of the ever-slight hope that is growing within me? That hope that perhaps we could go back to how we were? 

But even then... considering how we are now, it feels like a dream.

Considering my own actions done voluntarily of my own accord, I know how much it's damaged our relationship.

Even though I want it to stay together, too at least be with him.

And yet it's all done with a purpose, though it may also be damaging me in retaliation of my actions.

But perhaps I can finally stop all that, stop my rash actions which would be, are stupid even to me. 

I just hope that it comes true, even if it is slight.

As we approach the rooftop, my footsteps are becoming louder and louder to me, my heart is absolute racing with intense speed that could rival the fastest jet in the world, and my hands are still grasping a book which I holding to my chest in absolute fear of what might come next.