Book Buddies

2 - Curiosity.

What does it mean to be curious?

It was a simple question, very simple to other people.

Yet I for one had trouble understanding it at all.

Living in an emotionless environment I had no knowledge on things which related to emotions, feelings, or the abstraction of love. However, if it weren't for that man - I would most likely be much more different than the cold, dead husk by which the world sees me as. 

But because of him it wasn't that way, it would most likely never have been that way if I continued to stay within those white walls, bleached to an unimaginable degree to make the person within it feel excruciatingly isolated from the rest of the world; to make them feel as if all that mattered was that one room and that anything outside was but empty, cold, and brutish.

But by a stroke of luck, I came here.

Here I thought I could reach the unachievable goal by which that white prison disdained: I thought that peace would be attainable, and I could finally escape those white walls and split them into the four corners of my mind; to disperse them of their influence amongst my psyche. 

That was all I desired on the surface - but always at the back of my twisted mind I desired more than that, something better than that.

I wanted to learn something, something that I always desired to learn; things by which were rejected from me by birth and could make me human again, real again.

But after the reveal of the S-System and the Class-A obsessed psychopath next to me constantly pushing me to work for her and tricking me with food to do so; my chances of receiving my desired peace or gaining something which could help me achieve my deepest desire had become in my mind - impossible.

Also considering the competitive, cutthroat nature of the Class' and the desire to expel me that had appeared in every Class besides B; my peaceful life which I sought so dearly was thrown out of the window, to the center of our galaxy, and burned deep into the molten, bubbling bomb of the heat-grazed sun.

I knew that I could no longer attain the peace I desired, for peace never desired itself to meet me and embrace me in its relaxing, love-filled grasp.

And by some point, I had fully given up on my two goals; for I thought they were now but fantasies I had conglomerated considering this schools nature.

But then I met her.

At first I thought of her as nothing but a lover of books, going to the library and having minimal friends - overall being a loner who rejected to talk with essentially anyone.

The first time I saw her when she was trying to reach a book in the library and I helped her out, that's what I thought of her. And after helping her get the book she desired; she gave a nearly 30 minute long talk rambling on books she liked and how interesting the one I had helped give to her was - which made me believe I was right about the "book lover" part.