Astrophile

020

You pushed her away with as much force as you could muster up and bolted for the door. Tears sticked to your cheeks and your tripped multiple times running to the main street.

It's not my fault!!

It's not my fault!!

It's not my fault!!

You kept telling yourself that, desperately trying to convince yourself, "It's not my fault!!" You yelled to the voice damning you in your head. You clutched onto your head and crouched down as you felt like you were stuck in a maze with no way out. No matter where you ran, you could still see the haunting image of your house.

Tears made your vision blurry. You couldn't remember exactly how long you sat there on the street but the next thing you knew when you looked up was that the sky was dark.

'It's always your fault, [Name]... And it's gonna be your fault when your beloved friends die too...' Her words kept replaying in your head as you dragged your body, not knowing where you were going.

"It is.... my fault, Uncle...."

You couldn't go anywhere. Not to the Sano residence, not to Yuki's house. Not to Mitsuya's apartment, nor to Kazutora's house and neither to Baji's house....

So you just sat at the bench in the nearby park. You sat there as you started to feel sleepy, and you didn't fight the drowsiness as you let it take you into it's comforting grasps.

Dreams are the only place where you are happy, after all...

You didn't talk to anyone...

Two months had passed and you hadn't talked to a single person. Shinichirō and his friends tried to talk to you, tried to convince you that Osamu's death wasn't your fault but you ignored them everytime. Baji, Manjirō and Emma tried so hard to talk to you, but you didn't give any reaction to their attempts.

You didn't bother meeting up with Mitsuya at the park, watching him as he would still wait for you at the designated spot everyday, until one day he stopped.

You didn't even talk with Kazutora as much as you did before, only nodding or shaking your head. You knew he had an abusive family so you were aware that ignoring him would only break the poor boy.

The others had people who they could lean on, but Kazutora didn't so you still kept in touch with him. He would mostly spend the day by following you around like a lost puppy.

You know this is what's best for them. If they don't associate themselves with you, then they'll live.

So you stopped going to the dojo, stopped speaking to the monster that you reside with as you couldn't even attend Osamu's funeral.

And it seemed your mother couldn't be happier. Happy that she had finally broke you. However for you, time seemed to stop. Nothing mattered, no matter how much [Mother Name] would hit you, no matter what she said, you just didn't care anymore.

One day on your way back from school, you were confronted by Manjirō, Baji and Emma. They all stood in front of you with determined faces, but you kept staring at them with a dead gaze.

They were scared of your look but they stood their ground, "[Male Name], please talk to us!!" Baji yelled as Manjirō and Emma nodded in agreement.

You still kept on staring at them for several minutes. It got to the point where they thought you hadn't heard them, "[Male Name], ple-"

You started walking towards them, making their eyes twinkle in expectance. However to their disappointment, you walked straight to the side, away from them.

Manjirō ran up to you, grabbing onto your wrist, "[Male Name], please!!" You turned to him with a chilling glare, making a chill run down his spine.

"Let go of me, Sano..." He flinched when you used his last name but he looked at you, silently pleading.

"Just hear us out!!" You narrowed your eyes as you twisted your hand in his grip to grab onto his arm and pull him towards you. You raised your leg and kneed the young boy in his stomach, making both of his accomplices gasp in surprise and worry.

He let go of you and grabbed his stomach in pain as he kneeled over, tilting his head slightly to look at you, "Y-You.."

"I told you to let go, didn't I?" Baji ran over in anger but your chilling glare was enough to freeze him in his place, "Get out of my sight, all of you..." But they stood idle, just staring at you while Emma kneeled down to check on Manjirō.

"Leave!!" You yelled as Baji grabbed Emma's wrist and held onto Manjirō while sparing you one last look.

You glare didn't waver...

You watched as they turned their back and walked away, their figure growing smaller and smaller in the distance.

With them finally gone, you fell onto your knees as you stretched out an arm in their direction. Tears dripped down your eyes as you begged one last time.

"Please.... don't leave me..."