After 4 | ✓

Chapter 97

Though I never loved myself, but after getting therapy and self actualization I really like this person I've become. I don't scowl when I look at myself in the mirror or I feel disgust by me. I feel… okay? Yeah, I feel fine, that's it.

But I feel good by guiding this people who are lost. I didn't have a person who guide me at my teenage life until it was too late but I'll do my best to guide this young people in front of me.

"I am Hardin Scott," I begin. It's really fucking cranky to introduce myself because I know they know me that's why they all are here to listen to me, my sappy story of recovery. "As you guys already know I'm an author. I've written a book series called After and in that I've published two books and I'm still writing two other books too in that particular series, if you didn't even know about or never heard of them, then that's fine." I shrug.

"We know you Mr. Scott, that's why we're here!" Someone shouts from the audience and the rest of them just laughs hearing that person, lightening up the mood already I see.

"Thank you for whosoever that was." I chuckle."But yeah in that I mentioned about my alcohol addiction issues and how happened, what caused and all that." I talk with my right head gripping the mic tightly and my left one is in my pocket. The signs of nervousness.

"Details!" The same person shouts again.

"What?" My eyes search the big mouth person who's interpreting my talk here. Fucking bastards.

"We wanna know the details. From the start." The person adds and I find her sitting in the second row fourth chair.

"Okay if that's you all wanna know I'll tell you guys." Shrugging I tell everybody in this room.

"We do." She says again. And when I look down at her she's smirking at me. Flirty gal, I see.

"So from the start here it comes then." I begin. "When I was fourteen, I smoked weed for the first time which felt quite a dazed into my brain's cell, then when I was fifteen I went on a party at my bad influencer's apartment and they offered me a bottle of liquor which they stole from their parents. Ungrateful, stupidass kids if you call them."

I roll my eyes at the dark memory of mine and all the audiences here titters at my humor before I continue with my teenage story.

"So yeah, they offered me and I accept the bottle because I wanted to know what it would feel like when the alcohol gets into your veins, of course it makes you drunk I know that, but I want to experience what the drunkenness felt like and from there on my addicted love for alcohol started. At first it was a party thing, a bottle of booze was always handed to me and then it was happening on occasion. I could feel I was only existing and hit my rock bottom life I was living in my own hell with a liquor bottle in hand but as the time progressed so did my addiction. And at the age of nineteen I was full blown  alcoholist. I was a daily drinker. I lost everything I had, but material things can be replaced. Though my excessive drinking I was losing the people around me and any self-respect I had for myself. It broke my heart when my girlfriend left for that." I take a breathe before continuing. "But it was my fault; I should have listened when she told me I had a problem and needed help. But I didn’t listen. I can’t change the past or undo the abuse my alcoholic behavior caused the people around me." I pause.

The memories of Tessa suffering from my bullshits and fuck ups come into my mind. She undergo from my agonized past which tormented her life and that makes me a shit person to let her carry them. Shaking my head I push away those nonsense sad moments and come back to my audiences.

"If you had read my books you'd know I hated my dad because he chose liquor rather than me and my mom, he chose alcohol instead of family and I hated that so much. I despised his behavior like how could he do that to the person he loved but when I looked at myself I saw that I was doing the same. Though I didn't had kid but I had a person I loved, my girlfriend and I chose getting high rather than her so she left me because of that which I don't blame her. Because of my addiction she left me more like I pushed her away because I didn't want her to deal with a alcoholic like me, who's bad for her so I pushed her away."