Platonic Panic | DreamNotNap

1. First day blues

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"... I've been trying to fix my pride but that shit's broken..."

- 'All Time Low' by Jon Bellion

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Checkered backpack hanging heavily on one shoulder, Sapnap trudged through the University Campus. The usual pep in his step lost, like the colour of the leaves. He'd gotten so used to the comfort of his bedroom during the mid-term break, that even the familiar paths of the University felt strange. But maybe that was because he wasn't accompanied by two loud idiots that once would never leave his side.

"Sapnap!" Bad's cheery voice called from some random balcony atop a stone tower. What was he even doing up there? What room was that? Sapnap would never know. He seemed to have a bunch of folded paper in his hands, "Are you here to help out? That's so sweet of you-"

"Woah woah Bad chill," Sapnap held his hands in front of him, realising it was the 'Arts' Building. God, if there was one thing Sapnap hated, it was being around artsy kids, "I was just passing by." He power-walked away, stepping onto the grass to take the short cut to the familiar red-bricked Undergrad building. It was where most his classes were.

First days were usually pretty chill at the university, but this time, everyone around him seemed busy. Everyone but him. But then again, maybe he was just wallowing in self-pity.

Standing under the college mascot- Walt the mouse's statue, bitter-sweet memories of the decision all those months ago came back to him. The decision that weighed him down today.

He laughed bitterly, remembering what he was up to the last time he was here, snuck in, defacing the very statue he stood under, with people he no longer talked to. People he had thought, were his destiny. His lovers. He was young and stupid.

He fished his phone out, scrolling through the messages to not look so lonely. Dream was supposed to be here before him.

While he shot a couple angry 'where u at's' to Dream's WhatsApp, a slap landed on his back, "I'm here chill."

Sapnap pulled him into a tight hug without thinking. Dream was one of the only people Sap had been meeting during the break but seeing his best friend was always a delight. It eased his nerves enough to not think about the tough times.

"You good?" he asked and Sapnap's heart warmed at the realisation that the blond came to college despite having no classes himself, just to ensure Sap wasn't alone.  He let himself be walked to his first class of the semester, with his tall friend's arm snug around his shoulder. 

He sat through his class completely lost in his head. If you asked him what the subject was, he couldn't tell you. Although he had promised himself to do better this semester, his mind kept wandering back to the whispering in the back of the lecture hall. It used to be his regular spot, but now his beanie clad ex-lover sat there with his other friends, rolling a pen between his fingers restlessly. Sapnap saw the reflection on his laptop screen. If he just stayed still, he wouldn't have to interact with him.