Love never dies

▪︎ 16 ▪︎

Last night I had so much fun. Camping with Kara, Emma and Liam brought back so much memories. Memories when everything was easier and happier. Memories when Beca's parents and brother were still there. Memories with Beca alive. I got a little overwhelmed with the memories, so that's why I got into the tent early. Ryan was already asleep so he couldn't hear me cry. I cried my eyes out until I fell asleep. 

I got home pretty quickly this morning, because even tho I don't want to, I have to work tomorrow. I wish I could take more days off, but this last week was already a huge favor from my boss. It's not easy when you have to take care of an almost two year old and pretend you're happy when you're not. Wyatt is not helping either. Every night I have to work he's at the diner, mocking me or say hurtful things about Ryan. 

I sigh, thinking about all the hurtful things he said. How can he blame Ryan for existing? I get that he's angry at me for cheating on Beca. I know I cheated, even tho it was unintended. I never meant to cheat on Beca or hurt her feelings. I swallow away the tears that are threatening to fall out of my eyes. I can't cry now, not when I have to be happy for Ryan. 

I take a look at my phone, hoping for a missed call from the authorities, but there's nothing. I was very happy they agreed to set out a search party again, but I was hoping to hear from them now. I mean, I have to have faith that Beca is still alive and on one of those islands, right? Nina was excited and told me not to give up but how can I stay hopeful when they don't reach out to me? Come on, Chloe!  I tell myself strictly. It has only been a day since you gave them your research. You can't expect miracles! 

Suddenly I startle from my phone that's ringing. I quickly look at the caller ID, slightly hoping it's a call from the police or the other authorities, but it's Noah. Not that Noah calling is a bad thing, on the contrary, I miss him so much now that he lives in Europe. 

Noah! 

Hey, baby sister. Long time no speak. 

How many times do I have to tell you not to call me like that?

Well, I could call you princess but that's Beca's second nickname for you.

Only Beca is allowed to call me princess. And I'm really sorry for not reaching out to you earlier, I've just been very busy with Ryan.

Yeah, I get that. How is my little nephew doing?

He's so great, definitely amazes me every day with how smart he is. One day he could run for president. He's growing up so much and I just want him to stop and be my baby forever.

I definitely know how you feel. James is getting so big and smart, it's unbelievable. Gwen and I wish that he would stop growing all the time. He's our baby boy and he has us both wrapped around his tiny finger but we wouldn't have it any other way. Gwen actually took him to the park, he has a playmate with his new little friend. He has more of a social life than Gwen and me.

 That's adorable, Noah. You have to send me more pictures of the little guy. I miss him and you guys so much.

He misses his auntie too and he's not the only one. Gwen and I miss you too, but I will definitely send more pictures. You just have to send me some more of Ryan too, I haven't seen the little guy in like six months, since we visited you in the big apple.

Aw, I miss you guys too. I can't wait to get those pictures and yeah of course, I'll send you some pics of Ryan too. I know it's been a while since you guys visited but we talk all the time. And we can video call more often too if you're up for it. 

I can arrange that. But video calling and actually seeing each other is something different. Gwen and I decided to move back to the States. We miss you guys so much and that way we can be around each other more.