One Fateful Night (ON GOING)

Chapter 31

Mew carefully wraps the younger’s finger with a band aid trying to calm his overwhelming thoughts. Has he been acting up too much?

“Sorry, nong…Just…I’m really sorry…” Mew swallows the lump in his throat as he holds the younger’s wounded hand with both of his hands, cradling it like a gem. Distracting himself from a memory he really wishes to forget.

“I understand that you’re worried, Phi,” Gulf says as he stares at the older who has his head hung.

Sensing that Mew has definitely hidden something, he probes further. “But why? I think you’re getting a little overboard sometimes.”

Mew sighs, as he tightens his hold onto Gulf’s hand as if trying to gain some strength from there.

“I…” Mew’s voice shakes as he opens his mouth, so he closes it gulping the lump in his throat before he tries again. “I…”

Gulf can’t clearly see the older’s face as Mew has his head bowed. But he can definitely guess what the older’s face is showing basing from the tone of his voice. He suddenly feels bad for asking.

“It’s okay, Phi,” Gulf mutters as he moves a little closer and he places his other hand on the older to give some comfort. “You don’t have to tell me if you’re not comfortable.”

Mew shuts his eyes tight as he feels wetness pooling in the corner of his eyes. He wants the younger to understand why he is like this too and if it takes opening old wounds to make Gulf extra careful about this whole process, he will.

“I…I once lost a child, nong,” Mew reveals in a broken voice. “I’m sorry if it suffocates you. I’ll try to control myself from now on.”

Gulf is frozen in place upon hearing the information. He is completely not expecting to hear such awful detail about it. And he feels bad opening such memory because he can see how the older’s shoulder shake and he feels drops of wetness from his hand on the older’s hold, tears.

Suddenly, Gulf feels like crying again. It must have hurt the older so much. And just like how Mew gives him comfort every time, he wants to return the favor. He moves closer to Mew, kneeling then he pulls the older into a hug. He just hopes he can comfort him like this.

“No. I’m sorry, Phi,” Gulf mumbles quietly as he bites his lip to hold his tears. He wants to be here for Mew, just like what Mew does to him.

“No,” Mew rasps pulling the younger by the waist closer. “It’s okay. I shouldn’t…it’s different now. You’re different. But I just can’t help it sometimes.”

It’s always like this, Gulf thinks as he feels hands rubbing on his back. He feels like Mew is comforting him when it should be the other way around. He is not familiar in comforting people, so he mimics Mew’s movement on his back as he sighs in comfort having Mew’s scent so near.

They settled in a comfortable silence in each other’s arm which has given Mew the strength to continue.

“I was so guilty,” Mew starts letting his tears fall freely. “She…She never told me she was pregnant and…and…”

Gulf tightens his arms around the other to soothe him a little, and to let Mew know that he is here, listening.

Mew heaves a deep breath. “She…she went and just got rid of my child. I just can’t forgive her,” he utters, despair in his voice.

“I loved her so much…”

Gulf hands go still upon hearing those words uttered in agony. And he feels something constrict inside of him and now he’s holding the older not to offer just comfort anymore, for some reason he feels the need to hold him, so he won’t leave him. So, he can’t lose the warmth.

Mew’s messy emotion doesn’t able to grasp the turmoil of the younger in his arms, as he keeps on with his narrative.

“But I can’t just…it’s too much…” he trails off. “I failed to protect an innocent angel, nong,” he adds as tears bursts from his eyes.

Mew never knew that he has bottled things a lot, in years. He never even dared to tell his parent about it. Just his two friends, because he feels like he was going crazy then. And even now, he feels his wounds like those are new again.

“I might’ve known late but it’s my child…” Mew chokes. “I can’t help but feel guilty. I’m still guilty whenever I think about it.”

Unknowingly, Gulf’s tears make its way to his cheeks and with a broken voice he comforts Mew who is breaking down in his arms. “Ssh, it’s not your fault, na?”

“Don’t worry, Phi. I will protect our baby,” Gulf assures as tears continue to stream from his eyes. “And I understand it now, Phi. I won’t mind if you’re overprotective…or overboard…I know it’s for my own good. I’m sorry for re-opening old wounds.”

Gulf doesn’t know but he still feels bad for opening Mew’s wound. The older must have been hurt so bad. He can’t imagine losing a child. And he promises to himself that he will be extra careful from now on if it helps put the older at ease.

“Sorry, nong. I’m sorry,” Mew repeatedly says. “Until today, it’s still hunting me and I can’t let anything to happen to you or the baby. I’m just paranoid.”

And for first time in a long time, Mew feels comforted. He feels understood as the boy in his arms cries for him, for his pain, for his lose.

***
To be continued...

VOTE and COMMENT :)

This chap is honestly halfway done long time ago but since that tragedy I just can’t bring myself to write about this. Really late, but this is all I can do for now. I’ve been working on my stability for so long and here I am again.

Anyway, there is an entire story about this for the later chap, so just hang on. Slow is still a progress everyone. I’m trying to be patient.

Thank you for waiting. Thank you for the support. Thank you for the warm words. I read them, I just can’t bring myself to reply. Because when it’s bad, it’s really bad that it makes me hate communicating, I’m trying though.

Again, please watch your mental health. You are important and your emotions are valid. See you soon. Please stay strong :)